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the essays of montaigne, v3-第10部分

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when setting about the act (his thoughts being then disengaged and free;
and his body in its true and natural estate) he was at leisure to cause
the part to be handled and communicated to the knowledge of the other
party; he was totally freed from that vexatious infirmity。  After a man
has once done a woman right; he is never after in danger of misbehaving
himself with that person; unless upon the account of some excusable
weakness。  Neither is this disaster to be feared; but in adventures;
where the soul is overextended with desire or respect; and; especially;
where the opportunity is of an unforeseen and pressing nature; in those
cases; there is no means for a man to defend himself from such a
surprise; as shall put him altogether out of sorts。  I have known some;
who have secured themselves from this mischance; by coming half sated
elsewhere; purposely to abate the ardour of the fury; and others; who;
being grown old; find themselves less impotent by being less able; and
one; who found an advantage in being assured by a friend of his; that he
had a counter…charm of enchantments that would secure him from this
disgrace。  The story itself is not; much amiss; and therefore you shall
have it。

A Count of a very great family; and with whom I was very intimate; being
married to a fair lady; who had formerly been courted by one who was at
the wedding; all his friends were in very great fear; but especially an
old lady his kinswoman; who had the ordering of the solemnity; and in
whose house it was kept; suspecting his rival would offer foul play by
these sorceries。  Which fear she communicated to me。  I bade her rely
upon me: I had; by chance; about me a certain flat plate of gold; whereon
were graven some celestial figures; supposed good against sunstroke or
pains in the head; being applied to the suture: where; that it might the
better remain firm; it was sewed to a ribbon to be tied under the chin; a
foppery cousin…german to this of which I am speaking。  Jaques Pelletier;
who lived in my house; had presented this to me for a singular rarity。
I had a fancy to make some use of this knack; and therefore privately
told the Count; that he might possibly run the same fortune other
bridegrooms had sometimes done; especially some one being in the house;
who; no doubt; would be glad to do him such a courtesy: but let him
boldly go to bed。  For I would do him the office of a friend; and; if
need were; would not spare a miracle it was in my power to do; provided
he would engage to me; upon his honour; to keep it to himself; and only;
when they came to bring him his caudle;'A custom in France to bring the
bridegroom a caudle in the middle of the night on his wedding…night'
if matters had not gone well with him; to give me such a sign; and leave
the rest to me。  Now he had had his ears so battered; and his mind so
prepossessed with the eternal tattle of this business; that when he came
to't; he did really find himself tied with the trouble of his
imagination; and; accordingly; at the time appointed; gave me the sign。
Whereupon; I whispered him in the ear; that he should rise; under
pretence of putting us out of the room; and after a jesting manner pull
my nightgown from my shoulderswe were of much about the same height
throw it over his own; and there keep it till he had performed what I had
appointed him to do; which was; that when we were all gone out of the
chamber; he should withdraw to make water; should three times repeat such
and such words; and as often do such and such actions; that at every of
the three times; he should tie the ribbon I put into his hand about his
middle; and be sure to place the medal that was fastened to it; the
figures in such a posture; exactly upon his reins; which being done; and
having the last of the three times so well girt and fast tied the ribbon
that it could neither untie nor slip from its place; let him confidently
return to his business; and withal not forget to spread my gown upon the
bed; so that it might be sure to cover them both。  These ape's tricks are
the main of the effect; our fancy being so far seduced as to believe that
such strange means must; of necessity; proceed from some abstruse
science: their very inanity gives them weight and reverence。  And;
certain it is; that my figures approved themselves more venereal than
solar; more active than prohibitive。  'Twas a sudden whimsey; mixed with
a little curiosity; that made me do a thing so contrary to my nature; for
I am an enemy to all subtle and counterfeit actions; and abominate all
manner of trickery; though it be for sport; and to an advantage; for
though the action may not be vicious in itself; its mode is vicious。

Amasis; King of Egypt; having married Laodice; a very beautiful Greek
virgin; though noted for his abilities elsewhere; found himself quite
another man with his wife; and could by no means enjoy her; at which he
was so enraged; that he threatened to kill her; suspecting her to be a
witch。  As 'tis usual in things that consist in fancy; she put him upon
devotion; and having accordingly made his vows to Venus; he found himself
divinely restored the very first night after his oblations and
sacrifices。  Now women are to blame to entertain us with that disdainful;
coy; and angry countenance; which extinguishes our vigour; as it kindles
our desire; which made the daughter…in…law of Pythagoras'Theano; the
lady in question was the wife; not the daughter…in…law of Pythagoras。'
say; 〃That the woman who goes to bed to a man; must put off her modesty
with her petticoat; and put it on again with the same。〃  The soul of the
assailant; being disturbed with many several alarms; readily loses the
power of performance; and whoever the imagination has once put this trick
upon; and confounded with the shame of it (and she never does it but at
the first acquaintance; by reason men are then more ardent and eager; and
also; at this first account a man gives of himself; he is much more
timorous of miscarrying); having made an ill beginning; he enters into
such fever and despite at the accident; as are apt to remain and continue
with him upon following occasions。

Married people; having all their time before them; ought never to compel
or so much as to offer at the feat; if they do not find themselves quite
ready: and it is less unseemly to fail of handselling the nuptial sheets;
when a man perceives himself full of agitation and trembling; and to
await another opportunity at more private and more composed leisure; than
to make himself perpetually miserable; for having misbehaved himself and
been baffled at the first assault。  Till possession be taken; a man that
knows himself subject to this infirmity; should leisurely and by degrees
make several little trials and light offers; without obstinately
attempting at once; to Force an absolute conquest over his own mutinous
and indisposed faculties。  Such as know their members to be naturally
obedient; need take no other care but only to counterplot their
fantasies。

The indocile liberty of this member is very remarkable; so importunately
unruly in its tumidity and impatience; when we do not require it; and so
unseasonably disobedient; when we stand most in need of it: so
imperiously contesting in authority with the will; and with so much
haughty obstinacy denying all solicitation; both of hand and mind。  And
yet; though his rebellion is so universally complained of; and that proof
is thence deduced to condemn him; if he had; nevertheless; feed me to
plead his cause; I should peradventure; bring the rest of his fellow…
members into suspicion of complotting this mischief against him; out of
pure envy at the importance and pleasure especial to his employment; and
to have; by confederacy; armed the whole world against him; by
malevolently charging him alone; with their common offence。  For let any
one consider; whether there is any one part of our bodies that does not
often refuse to perform its office at the precept of the will; and that
does not often exercise its function in defiance of her command。  They
have every one of them passions of their own; that rouse and awaken;
stupefy and benumb them; without our leave or consent。  How often do the
involuntary motions of the countenance discover our inward thoughts; and
betray our most private secrets to the bystanders。  The same cause that
animates this member; does also; without our knowledge; animate the
lungs; pulse; and heart; the sight of a pleasing object imperceptibly
diffusing a flame through all our parts; with a feverish motion。  Is
there nothing but these veins and muscles that swell and flag without the
consent; not only of the will; but even of our knowledge also?  We do not
command our hairs to stand on end; nor our skin to shiver either with
fear or desire; the hands often convey themselves to parts to which we do
not direct them; the tongue will be interdict; and the voice congealed;
when we know not how to help it。  When we have nothing to eat; and would
willingly forbid it; the appetite does not; for all that; forbear to stir
up the parts that are subject to it; no more nor less than the other
appetite we were speaking
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