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adornment； and the worthy Writer to the Signet； who prepared the work
for the Press； would have asked three times the space to record one…half
the adventures。 ‘I sunk upon it with my forks and brought it with me'；
‘We obtained thirty…three pounds by this affair'is there not the stalwart
flavour of the epic in these plain； unvarnished sentences？
His other accomplishments are pallid in the light of his brilliant left
hand。 Once； at Derryhe attended a cock… fight； and beguiled an interval
by emptying the pockets of a lucky bookmaker。 An expert； who watched
the exploit in admiration； could not withhold a compliment。 ‘You are the
Switcher；' he exclaimed； ‘some take all； but you leave nothing。' And it is
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as the Switcher that Haggart keeps his memory green。
II GENTLEMAN HARRY
‘DAMN ye both！ stop； or I will blow your brains out！' Thus it was
that Harry Simms greeted his victims； proving in a phrase that the heroic
age of the rumpad was no more。 Forgotten the debonair courtesy of
Claude Duval！ Forgotten the lightning wit； the swift repartee of the
incomparable Hind！ No longer was the hightoby…gloak a ‘gentleman' of
the road； he was a butcher； if not a beggar； on horseback； a braggart
without the courage to pull a trigger； a swashbuckler； oblivious of that
ancient style which converted the misery of surrender into a privilege。
Yet Harry Simms； the supreme adventurer of his age； was not without
distinction； his lithe form and his hard…ridden horse were the common
dread of England； his activity was rewarded with a princely treasure； and
if his method were lacking in urbanity； the excuse is that he danced not to
the brilliant measure of the Cavaliers； but limped to the clumsy fiddle…
scraping of the early Georges。
At Eton； where a too…indulgent grandmother had placed him； he
ransacked the desks of his school…fellows； and avenged a birching by
emptying his master's pockets。 Wherefore he lost the hope of a polite
education； and instead of proceeding with a clerkly dignity to King's
College； in the University of Cambridge； he was ignominiously
apprenticed to a breeches…maker。 The one restraint was as irksome as the
other； and Harry Simms abandoned the needle； as he had scorned the
grammar； to go upon the pad。 Though his early companions were
scragged at Tyburn； the light…fingered rascal was indifferent to their fate；
and squandering such booty as fell to his share； he bravely ‘turned out' for
more。 Tottenham Court Fair was the theatre of his childish exploits； and
there he gained some little skill in the picking of pockets。 But a spell of
bad trade brought him to poverty； and he attempted to replenish an empty
pocket by the childish expedient of a threatening letter。
The plan was conceived and executed with a futility which ensured an
instant capture。 The bungler chose a stranger at haphazard； commanding
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him； under penalty of death； to lay five guineas upon a gun in Tower
Wharf； the guineas were cunningly deposited； and the rascal； caught with
his hand upon the booty； was committed to Newgate。 Youth； and the
intercession of his grandmother； procured a release； unjustified by the
infamous stupidity of the trick。 Its very clumsiness should have sent him
over sea； and it is wonderful that from a beginning of so little promise； he
should have climbed even the first slopes of greatness。 However； the
memory of gaol forced him to a brief interlude of honesty； for a while he
wore the pink coat of Colonel Cunningham's postillion； and presently was
promoted to the independence of a hackney coach。
Thus employed； he became acquainted with the famous Cyprians of
Covent Garden； who； loving him for his handsome face and sprightly
gesture； seduced him to desert his cab for an easier profession。 So long
as the sky was fair； he lived under their amiable protection； but the
summer having chased the smarter gentry from town； the ladies could
afford him no more than would purchase a horse and a pair of pistols； so
that Harry was compelled to challenge fortune on the high road。 His first
journey was triumphantly successful。 A post…chaise and a couple of
coaches emptied their wealth into his hands； and； riding for London； he
was able to return the favours lavished upon him by Covent Garden。 At
the first touch of gold he was transformed to a finished blade。 He
purchased himself a silver…hilted sword； which he dangled over a discreet
suit of black velvet； a prodigious run of luck at the gaming…tables kept his
purse well lined； and he made so brilliant an appearance in his familiar
haunts that he speedily gained the name of ‘Gentleman Harry。' But the
money； lightly won； was lightly spent。 The tables took back more than
they gave； and before long Simms was astride his horse again； flourishing
his irons； and crying： ‘Stand and deliver'！ upon every road in England。
Epping Forest was his general hunting…ground； but his enterprise took
him far afield； and if one night he galloped by starlight across Bagshot
Heath； another he was holding up the York stage with unbridled insolence。
He robbed； he roared； he blustered with praiseworthy industry； and good
luck coming to the aid of caution； he escaped for a while the necessary
punishment of his crimes。 It was on Stockbridge Downs that he met his
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first check。
He had stopped a chariot； and came off with a hatful of gold； but the
victims； impatient of disaster； raised the county； and Gentleman Harry was
laid by the heels。 Never at a loss； he condescended to a cringing
hypocrisy： he whined； he whimpered； he babbled of reform； he plied his
prosecutors with letters so packed with penitence； that they abandoned
their case； and in a couple of days Simms had eased a collector at Eversey
Bank of three hundred pounds。 For this enterprise two others climbed
the gallows； and the robber's pride in his capture was miserably lessened
by the shedding of innocent blood。
But he forgot his remorse as speedily as he dissipated his money； and
sentimentality neither damped his enjoyment nor restrained his energy。
Even his brief visits to London were turned to the best account； and；
though he would have the world believe him a mere voluptuary； his eye
was bent sternly upon business。 If he did lose his money in a gambling
hell； he knew who won it； and spoke with his opponent on the homeward
way。 In his eyes a fuddled rake was always fair game； and the stern
windows of St。 Clement's Church looked down upon many a profitable
adventure。 His most distinguished journey was to Ireland； whither he set
forth to find a market for his stolen treasure。 But he determined that the
road should bear its own charges； and he reached Dublin a richer man than
he left London。 In three months he was penniless； but he did not begin
trade again until he had recrossed the Channel； and； having got to work
near Chester； he returned to the Piazza fat with bank…notes。
With success his extravagance increased； and； living the life of a man
about town； he was soon harassed by debt。 More than once he was
lodged in the Marshalsea； and as his violent temper resented the
interference of a dun； he became notorious for his assaults upon sheriff's
officers。 And thus his poor skill grew poorer： forgetting his trade； he
expected that brandy would ease his embarrassment。 At last； sodden with
drink； he enlisted in the Guards； from which regiment he deserted； only to
be pressed aboard a man…of…war。 Freed by a clever trick； he took to the
road again； until a paltry theft from a barber transported him to Maryland。
There he turned sailor； and his ship； The Two Sisters； being taken by a
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privateer； he contrived to scramble into Portugal； whence he made his way
back to England； and to the only adventure of which he was master。 He
landed with no more money than the price of a pistol； but he prigged a
prancer at Bristol horsefair； and set out upon his last journey。 The tide of
his fortune was at flood。 He crammed his pockets with watches； he was
owner of enough diamonds to set up shop in a fashionable quarter； of
guineas he had as many as would support his magnificence for half a year；
and at last he resolved to quit the road； and to live like the gentleman he
was。 To this prudence he was the more easily persuaded； because not
only were the thief…takers eager for his capture； but he was a double…dyed
deserter； whose sole chance of quietude was a decent obscurity。
His resolution was taken at St。 Albans； and over a comfortable dinn