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was always anxious to recognize that he was a fine lad。
〃Still； I am not the same as his own mother；〃 said Countess Mary。 〃I
feel I am not the same and it troubles me。 A wonderful boy； but I am
dreadfully afraid for him。 It would be good for him to have
companions。〃
〃Well it won't be for long。 Next summer I'll take him to
Petersburg；〃 said Nicholas。 〃Yes； Pierre always was a dreamer and
always will be；〃 he continued； returning to the talk in the study
which had evidently disturbed him。 〃Well； what business is it of
mine what goes on there… whether Arakcheev is bad； and all that？
What business was it of mine when I married and was so deep in debt
that I was threatened with prison； and had a mother who could not
see or understand it？ And then there are you and the children and
our affairs。 Is it for my own pleasure that I am at the farm or in the
office from morning to night？ No； but I know I must work to comfort my
mother； to repay you； and not to leave the children such beggars as
I was。〃
Countess Mary wanted to tell him that man does not live by bread
alone and that he attached too much importance to these matters。 But
she knew she must not say this and that it would be useless to do
so。 She only took his hand and kissed it。 He took this as a sign of
approval and a confirmation of his thoughts； and after a few
minutes' reflection continued to think aloud。
〃You know； Mary； today Elias Mitrofanych〃 （this was his overseer）
〃came back from the Tambov estate and told me they are already
offering eighty thousand rubles for the forest。〃
And with an eager face Nicholas began to speak of the possibility of
repurchasing Otradnoe before long； and added： 〃Another ten years of
life and I shall leave the children。。。 in an excellent position。〃
Countess Mary listened to her husband and understood all that he
told her。 She knew that when he thought aloud in this way he would
sometimes ask her what he had been saying； and be vexed if he
noticed that she had been thinking about something else。 But she had
to force herself to attend； for what he was saying did not interest
her at all。 She looked at him and did not think； but felt； about
something different。 She felt a submissive tender love for this man
who would never understand all that she understood； and this seemed to
make her love for him still stronger and added a touch of passionate
tenderness。 Besides this feeling which absorbed her altogether and
hindered her from following the details of her husband's plans；
thoughts that had no connection with what he was saying flitted
through her mind。 She thought of her nephew。 Her husband's account
of the boy's agitation while Pierre was speaking struck her
forcibly； and various traits of his gentle； sensitive character
recurred to her mind； and while thinking of her nephew she thought
also of her own children。 She did not compare them with him； but
compared her feeling for them with her feeling for him； and felt
with regret that there was something lacking in her feeling for
young Nicholas。
Sometimes it seemed to her that this difference arose from the
difference in their ages； but she felt herself to blame toward him and
promised in her heart to do better and to accomplish the impossible…
in this life to love her husband； her children； little Nicholas； and
all her neighbors； as Christ loved mankind。 Countess Mary's soul
always strove toward the infinite； the eternal； and the absolute；
and could therefore never be at peace。 A stern expression of the
lofty； secret suffering of a soul burdened by the body appeared on her
face。 Nicholas gazed at her。 〃O God！ What will become of us if she
dies； as I always fear when her face is like that？〃 thought he； and
placing himself before the icon he began to say his evening prayers。
EP1｜CH16
CHAPTER XVI
Natasha and Pierre； left alone； also began to talk as only a husband
and wife can talk； that is； with extraordinary clearness and rapidity；
understanding and expressing each other's thoughts in ways contrary to
all rules of logic； without premises； deductions； or conclusions；
and in a quite peculiar way。 Natasha was so used to this kind of
talk with her husband that for her it was the surest sign of something
being wrong between them if Pierre followed a line of logical
reasoning。 When he began proving anything； or talking
argumentatively and calmly and she； led on by his example； began to do
the same； she knew that they were on the verge of a quarrel。
From the moment they were alone and Natasha came up to him with
wide…open happy eyes； and quickly seizing his head pressed it to her
bosom； saying： 〃Now you are all mine； mine！ You won't escape！〃… from
that moment this conversation began； contrary to all the laws of logic
and contrary to them because quite different subjects were talked
about at one and the same time。 This simultaneous discussion of many
topics did not prevent a clear understanding but on the contrary was
the surest sign that they fully understood one another。
Just as in a dream when all is uncertain； unreasoning； and
contradictory； except the feeling that guides the dream； so in this
intercourse contrary to all laws of reason； the words themselves
were not consecutive and clear but only the feeling that prompted
them。
Natasha spoke to Pierre about her brother's life and doings； of
how she had suffered and lacked life during his own absence； and of
how she was fonder than ever of Mary； and how Mary was in every way
better than herself。 In saying this Natasha was sincere in
acknowledging Mary's superiority； but at the same time by saying it
she made a demand on Pierre that he should； all the same； prefer her
to Mary and to all other women； and that now； especially after
having seen many women in Petersburg； he should tell her so afresh。
Pierre； answering Natasha's words； told her how intolerable it had
been for him to meet ladies at dinners and balls in Petersburg。
〃I have quite lost the knack of talking to ladies；〃 he said。 〃It was
simply dull。 Besides； I was very busy。〃
Natasha looked intently at him and went on：
〃Mary is so splendid；〃 she said。 〃How she understands children！ It
is as if she saw straight into their souls。 Yesterday； for instance；
Mitya was naughty。。。〃
〃How like his father he is；〃 Pierre interjected。
Natasha knew why he mentioned Mitya's likeness to Nicholas： the
recollection of his dispute with his brother…in…law was unpleasant and
he wanted to know what Natasha thought of it。
〃Nicholas has the weakness of never agreeing with anything not
generally accepted。 But I understand that you value what opens up a
fresh line；〃 said she； repeating words Pierre had once uttered。
〃No； the chief point is that to Nicholas ideas and discussions are
an amusement… almost a pastime；〃 said Pierre。 〃For instance； he is
collecting a library and has made it a rule not to buy a new book till
he has read what he had already bought… Sismondi and Rousseau and
Montesquieu；〃 he added with a smile。 〃You know how much I。。。〃 he began
to soften down what he had said； but Natasha interrupted him to show
that this was unnecessary。
〃So you say ideas are an amusement to him。。。。〃
〃Yes； and for me nothing else is serious。 All the time in Petersburg
I saw everyone as in a dream。 When I am taken up by a thought； all
else is mere amusement。〃
〃Ah； I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you met the children；〃 said
Natasha。 〃Which was most delighted？ Lisa； I'm sure。〃
〃Yes；〃 Pierre replied； and went on with what was in his mind。
〃Nicholas says we ought not to think。 But I can't help it。 Besides；
when I was in Petersburg I felt （I can this to you） that the whole
affair would go to pieces without me… everyone was pulling his own
way。 But I succeeded in uniting them all； and then my idea is so clear
and simple。 You see； I don't say that we ought to oppose this and
that。 We may be mistaken。 What I say is： 'Join hands； you who love the
right； and let there be but one banner… that of active virtue。' Prince
Sergey is a fine fellow and clever。〃
Natasha would have had no doubt as to the greatness of Pierre's
idea； but one thing disconcerted her。 〃Can a man so important and
necessary to society be also my husband？ How did this happen？〃 She
wished to express this doubt to him。 〃Now who could decide whether
he is really cleverer than all the others？〃 she asked herself； and
passed in review all those whom Pierre most respected。 Judging by what
he had said there was no one he had respected so highly as Platon
Karataev。
〃Do you know what I am thinking about？〃 she asked。 〃About Platon
Karataev。 Would he have approved of you now； do you think？〃
Pierre was not at all surprised at this question。 He understood
his wife's line of thought。
〃Platon Karataev？〃 he repeated； and pondered； evidently sincerely
trying to imagine Karataev's opinion on the subject。 〃He would not
have u