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through all my sea wanderings； ever to achieve the crossing of
the Western Oceanusing the words in that special sense in which
sailors speak of Western Ocean trade； of Western Ocean packets；
of Western Ocean hard cases。 The new life attended closely upon
the old and the nine chapters of 〃Almayer's Folly〃 went with me
to the Victoria Dock； whence in a few days we started for Rouen。
I won't go so far as saying that the engaging of a man fated
never to cross the Western Ocean was the absolute cause of the
Franco…Canadian Transport Company's failure to achieve even a
single passage。 It might have been that of course； but the
obvious； gross obstacle was clearly the want of money。 Four
hundred and sixty bunks for emigrants were put together in the
'tween decks by industrious carpenters while we lay in the
Victoria Dock； but never an emigrant turned up in Rouenof
which； being a humane person； I confess I was glad。 Some
gentlemen from ParisI think there were three of them； and one
was said to be the Chairmanturned up indeed and went from end
to end of the ship； knocking their silk hats cruelly against the
deck…beams。 I attended them personally； and I can vouch for it
that the interest they took in things was intelligent enough；
though； obviously； they had never seen anything of the sort
before。 Their faces as they went ashore wore a cheerfully
inconclusive expression。 Notwithstanding that this inspecting
ceremony was supposed to be a preliminary to immediate sailing；
it was then； as they filed down our gangway； that I received the
inward monition that no sailing within the meaning of our
charter…party would ever take place。
It must be said that in less than three weeks a move took place。
When we first arrived we had been taken up with much ceremony
well towards the centre of the town； and； all the street corners
being placarded with the tricolour posters announcing the birth
of our company； the petit bourgeois with his wife and family made
a Sunday holiday from the inspection of the ship。 I was always
in evidence in my best uniform to give information as though I
had been a Cook's tourists' interpreter； while our quarter…
masters reaped a harvest of small change from personally
conducted parties。 But when the move was madethat move which
carried us some mile and a half down the stream to be tied up to
an altogether muddier and shabbier quaythen indeed the
desolation of solitude became our lot。 It was a complete and
soundless stagnation； for； as we had the ship ready for sea to
the smallest detail； as the frost was hard and the days short； we
were absolutely idleidle to the point of blushing with shame
when the thought struck us that all the time our salaries went
on。 Young Cole was aggrieved because； as he said； we could not
enjoy any sort of fun in the evening after loafing like this all
day： even the banjo lost its charm since there was nothing to
prevent his strumming on it all the time between the meals。 The
good Paramorhe was really a most excellent fellowbecame
unhappy as far as was possible to his cheery nature； till one
dreary day I suggested； out of sheer mischief； that he should
employ the dormant energies of the crew in hauling both cables up
on deck and turning them end for end。
For a moment Mr。 Paramor was radiant。 〃Excellent idea！〃 but
directly his face fell。 〃Why。 。 。Yes！ But we can't make that
job last more than three days；〃 he muttered discontentedly。 I
don't know how long he expected us to be stuck on the riverside
outskirts of Rouen； but I know that the cables got hauled up and
turned end for end according to my satanic suggestion； put down
again； and their very existence utterly forgotten； I believe；
before a French river pilot came on board to take our ship down；
empty as she came； into the Havre roads。 You may think that this
state of forced idleness favoured some advance in the fortunes of
Almayer and his daughter。 Yet it was not so。 As if it were some
sort of evil spell； my banjoist cabin…mate's interruption； as
related above； had arrested them short at the point of that
fateful sunset for many weeks together。 It was always thus with
this book； begun in '89 and finished in '94with that shortest
of all the novels which it was to be my lot to write。 Between
its opening exclamation calling Almayer to his dinner in his
wife's voice and Abdullah's （his enemy） mental reference to the
God of Islam〃The Merciful； the Compassionate〃which closes the
book； there were to come several long sea passages； a visit （to
use the elevated phraseology suitable to the occasion） to the
scenes （some of them） of my childhood and the realisation of
childhood's vain words； expressing a light…hearted and romantic
whim。
It was in 1868； when nine years old or thereabouts； that while
looking at a map of Africa of the time and putting my finger on
the blank space then representing the unsolved mystery of that
continent； I said to myself with absolute assurance and an
amazing audacity which are no longer in my character now：
〃When I grow up I shall go there。〃
And of course I thought no more about it till after a quarter of
a century or so an opportunity offered to go thereas if the sin
of childish audacity were to be visited on my mature head。 Yes。
I did go there： there being the region of Stanley Falls which in
'68 was the blankest of blank spaces on the earth's figured
surface。 And the MS。 of 〃Almayer's Folly；〃 carried about me as
if it were a talisman or a treasure； went there too。 That it
ever came out of there seems a special dispensation of
Providence； because a good many of my other properties；
infinitely more valuable and useful to me； remained behind
through unfortunate accidents of transportation。 I call to mind；
for instance； a specially awkward turn of the Congo between
Kinchassa and Leopoldsvillemore particularly when one had to
take it at night in a big canoe with only half the proper number
of paddlers。 I failed in being the second white man on record
drowned at that interesting spot through the upsetting of a
canoe。 The first was a young Belgian officer； but the accident
happened some months before my time； and he； too； I believe； was
going home； not perhaps quite so ill as myselfbut still he was
going home。 I got round the turn more or less alive； though I
was too sick to care whether I did or not； and； always with
〃Almayer's Folly〃 amongst my diminishing baggage； I arrived at
that delectable capital Boma； where before the departure of the
steamer which was to take me home I had the time to wish myself
dead over and over again with perfect sincerity。 At that date
there were in existence only seven chapters of 〃Almayer's Folly；〃
but the chapter in my history which followed was that of a long；
long illness and very dismal convalescence。 Geneva； or more
precisely the hydropathic establishment of Champel； is rendered
for ever famous by the termination of the eighth chapter in the
history of Almayer's decline and fall。 The events of the ninth
are inextricably mixed up with the details of the proper
management of a waterside warehouse owned by a certain city firm
whose name does not matter。 But that work； undertaken to
accustom myself again to the activities of a healthy existence；
soon came to an end。 The earth had nothing to hold me with for
very long。 And then that memorable story； like a cask of choice
Madeira； got carried for three years to and fro upon the sea。
Whether this treatment improved its flavour or not； of course I
would not like to say。 As far as appearance is concerned it
certainly did nothing of the kind。 The whole MS。 acquired a
faded look and an ancient； yellowish complexion。 It became at
last unreasonable to suppose that anything in the world would
ever happen to Almayer and Nina。 And yet something most unlikely
to happen on the high seas was to wake them up from their state
of suspended animation。
What is it that Novalis says？ 〃It is certain my conviction gains
infinitely the moment another soul will believe in it。〃 And what
is a novel if not a conviction of our fellow…men's existence
strong enough to take upon itself a form of imagined life clearer
than reality and whose accumulated verisimilitude of selected
episodes puts to shame the pride of documentary history？
Providence which saved my MS。 from th