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the deputy of arcis-第27部分

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nclined to think; with Joseph Bridau; that such mistakes are venial。 But a fault to be forever regretted; according to my ideas; will be that of abandoning his present career to fling himself into the maelstrom of politics。 You are yourself interested in turning him from this idea; if you strongly desire to entrust that work to his hands。 Preach to him as strongly as you can the wisdom of abiding by his art。

On the subject of the explanation I advised you to have with him; I must tell you that your task is greatly simplified。 You need not enter into any of the details which would be to you so painful。 Madame de l'Estorade; to whom I spoke of the role of mediator which I wanted her to play; accepted the part very willingly。 She feels confident of being able; after half an hour's conversation; to remove the painful feeling from your friend's mind; and drive away the clouds between you。

While writing this long letter; I have sent for news of his condition。 He is going on favorably; and the physicians say that; barring all unforeseen accidents; his friends need have no anxiety as to his state。 It seems he is an object of general interest; for; to use the expression of my valet; people are 〃making cue〃 to leave their names at his door。 It must be added that the Duke de Rhetore is not liked; which may partly account for this sympathy。 The duke is stiff and haughty; but there is little in him。 What a contrast the brother is to her who lives in our tenderest memory。 She was simple and kind; yet she never derogated from her dignity; nothing equalled the lovable qualities of her heart but the charms of her mind。



IV

THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORAADE TO MADAME OCTAVE DE CAMPS

Paris; February; 1839。

Nothing could be more judicious than what you have written me; my dear friend。 It was certainly to have been expected that my 〃bore〃 would have approached me on the occasion of our next meeting。 His heroism gave him the right to do so; and politeness made it a duty。 Under pain of being thought unmannerly he was bound to make inquiries as to the results of the accident on my health and that of Nais。 But if; contrary to all these expectations; he did not descend from his cloud; my resolution; under your judicious advice; was taken。 If the mountain did not come to me; I should go to the mountain; like Hippolyte in the tale of Theramene; I would rush upon the monster and discharge my gratitude upon him at short range。 I have come to think with you that the really dangerous side of this foolish obsession on his part is its duration and the inevitable gossip in which; sooner or later; it would involve me。

Therefore; I not only accepted the necessity of speaking to my shadow first; but under pretence that my husband wished to call upon him and thank him in person; I determined to ask him his name and address; and if I found him a suitable person I intended to ask him to dinner on the following day; believing that if he had but a shadow of common… sense; he would; when he saw the manner in which I live with my husband; my frantic passion; as you call it; for my children; in short; the whole atmosphere of my well…ordered home; he would; as I say; certainly see the folly of persisting in his present course。 At any rate half the danger of his pursuit was over if it were carried on openly。 If I was still to be persecuted; it would be in my own home; where we are all; more or less; exposed to such annoyances; which an honest woman possessing some resources of mind can always escape with honor。

Well; all these fine schemes and all your excellent advice have come to nothing。 Since the accident; or rather since the day when my physician first allowed me to go out; nothing; absolutely nothing have I seen of my unknown lover。 But; strange to say; although his presence was intolerably annoying; I am conscious that he still exercises a sort of magnetism over me。 Without seeing him; I feel him near me; his eyes weigh upon me; though I do not meet them。 He is ugly; but his ugliness has something energetic and powerfully marked; which makes one remember him as a man of strong and energetic faculties。 In fact; it is impossible not to think about him; and now that he appears to have relieved me of his presence; I an conscious of a voidthat sort of void the ear feels when a sharp and piercing noise which has long annoyed it ceases。 What I am going to add may seem to you great foolishness; but are we always mistress of such mirages of the imagination?

I have often told you of my arguments with Louise de Chaulieu in relation to the manner in which women ought to look at life。 I used to tell her that the passion with which she never ceased to pursue the ideal was ill…regulated and fatal to happiness。 To this she answered: 〃You have never loved; my dearest; love has this rare phenomenon about it: we may live all our lives without ever meeting the being to whom nature has assigned the power of making us happy。 But if the day of splendor comes when that being unexpectedly awakes your heart from sleep; what will you do then?〃 'See 〃Memoirs of Two Young Married Women。〃'

The words of those about to die are often prophetic。 What if this man were to be the tardy serpent with whom Louise threatened me? That he could ever be really dangerous to me; that he could make me fail in my duty; that is certainly not what I fear; I am strong against all such extremes。 But I did not; like you; my dear Madame de Camps; marry a man whom my heart had chosen。 It was only by dint of patience; determination; and reason that I was able to build up the solid and serious attachment which binds me to Monsieur de l'Estorade。 Ought I not; therefore; to be doubly cautious lest anything distract me from that sentiment; be it only the diversion of my thoughts in this annoying manner; to another man?

I shall say to you; as; MONSIEUR; Louis XIV。's brother; said to his wife; to whom he was in the habit of showing what he had written and asking her to decipher it: See into my heart and mind; dear friend; disperse the mists; quiet the worries; and the flux and reflux of will which this affair stirs up in me。 My poor Louise was mistaken; was she not? I am not a woman; am I; on whom the passion of love could gain a foothold? The man who; on some glorious day; will render me happy is my Armand; my Rene; my Nais; three angels for whom I have hitherto livedthere can never be for me; I feel it deeply; another passion!



V

THE COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE TO MADAME OCTAVE DE CAMPS

Paris; March; 1839。

About the year 1820 in the course of the same week two /news/ (to use the schoolboy phrase of my son Armand) entered the college of Tours。 One had a charming face; the other would have been thought ugly if health; frankness; and intelligence beaming on his features had not compensated for their irregularity and inelegance。

Here you will stop me; and ask whether I have come to the end of my own adventure; that I should now be writing this feuilleton…story。 No; this tale is really a continuation of that adventure; though it seems little like it; so; give it your best attention and do not interrupt me again。

One of these lads; the handsome one; was dreamy; contemplative; and a trifle /elegaic/; the other; ardent; impetuous; and always in action。 They were two natures which completed each other; a priceless blessing to every friendship that is destined to last。 Both had the same bar… sinister on them at their birth。 The dreamer was the natural son of the unfortunate Lady Brandon。 His name was Marie…Gaston; which; indeed; seems hardly an actual name。 The other; born of wholly unknown parents; was named Dorlange; which is certainly no name at all。 Dorlange; Valmon; Volmar; Melcourt; are heard upon the stage and nowhere else; already they belong to a past style; and will soon rejoin Alceste; Arnolphe; Clitandre; Damis; Eraste; Philinte; and Arsinoe。

Another reason why the poor ill…born lads should cling together was the cruel abandonment to which they were consigned。 For the seven years their studies lasted there was not a day; even during the holidays; when the door of their prison opened。 Now and then Marie… Gaston received a visit from an old woman who had served his mother; through her the quarterly payment for his schooling was regularly made。 That of Dorlange was also made with great punctuality through a banker in Tours。 A point to be remarked is that the price paid for the schooling of the latter was the highest which the rules of the establishment allowed; hence the conclusion that his unknown parents were persons in easy circumstances。 Among his comrades; Dorlange attained to a certain respect which; had it been withheld; he would very well have known how to enforce with his fists。 But under their breaths; his comrades remarked that he was never sent for to see friends in the parlor; and that outside the college walls no one appeared to take an interest in him。

The two lads; who were both destined to become distinguished men; were poor scholars; though each had his own way of studying。 By the time he was fifteen Marie…Gaston had written a volume of verses; satires; elegies; meditations; not to speak of two tragedies。 The favorite studies of Dorlange led him to steal logs of wood; o
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