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Now I must tell you the terrible idea that drove sleep from my brain and put the pen once more in my hand；although I am somewhat distracted from it by writing the foregoing two pages； and I do not see quite as much evidence for my notion as I did before I renewed this letter。
One thing is certain： during the last year many romantic incidents have happened to me。 You may say that adventure seems to be the logical way of life for one in my position； that my birth； the chances that brought you （whose fate is so like mine） and me together； my relations with Marianina and my handsome housekeeper； and perhaps I might say with Madame de l'Estorade； all point to the possession of a fickle star； and that my present affair is only one of its caprices。
True； but what if； at the present moment under the influence of that star； I were implicated without my knowledge in some infernal plot of which I was made the passive instrument？
To put some order into my ideas； I begin by this half…million spent for an interest which you must agree is very nebulous；that of fitting me to succeed my father in the ministry of some imaginary country； the name of which is carefully concealed from me。
Next： who is spending these fabulous sums on me？ Is it a father tenderly attached to a child of love？ No； it is a father who shows me the utmost coldness； who goes to sleep when deeds which concern our mutual existence are being drawn； and for whom I； on my side； am conscious of no feeling； in fact； not to mince my words； I should think him a great booby of an /emigre/ if it were not for the filial respect and duty I force myself to feel for him。
/But/suppose this man were not my father； not even the Marquis de Sallenauve； as he asserts himself to be； suppose； like that unfortunate Lucien de Rubempre； whose history has made so much noise； I were caught in the toils of a serpent like that false abbe Don Carlos Herrera； and had made myself liable to the same awful awakening。 You may say to me that you see no such likelihood； that Carlos Herrera had an object in fascinating Lucien and making him his double； but that I； an older man with solid principles and no love of luxury； who have lived a life of thought and toil； should fear such influence； is nonsense。
So be it。 But why should the man who recognizes me as his son conceal the very country in which he lives； and the name by which he is known in that equally nameless Northern land which it is intimated that he governs？ Why make such sacrifices for my benefit and show so little confidence？ And see the mystery with which Jacques Bricheteau has surrounded my life！ Do you think that that long…winded explanation of his explained it？
All this； my dear friend； rolling in my head and clashing with that half…million already paid to me； has given substance to a strange idea； at which you may perhaps laugh； but which； nevertheless； is not without precedent in criminal annals。
I told you just now that this thought invaded me as it were suddenly； it came like an instinct upon me。 Assuredly； if I had had the faintest inkling of it last evening； I would have cut off my right hand sooner than sign that deed by which I have henceforth bound my fate to that of an unknown man whose past and future may be as gloomy as a canto of Dante's Hell； and who may drag me down with him into utter darkness。
In short； this idearound which I am making you circle because I cannot bring myself to let you enter ithere it is； in all its crudity； I am afraid of being； without my knowledge； the agent； the tool of those associations of false coiners who are known in criminal records to concoct schemes as complicated and mysterious as the one I am now involved in； in order to put into circulation the money they coin。 In all such cases you will find great coming and going of accomplices； cheques drawn from a distance on the bankers in great commercial centres like Paris； Stockholm； Rotterdam。 Often one hears of poor dupes compromised。 In short； do you not see in the mysterious ways of this Bricheteau something like an imitation； a reflection of the manoeuvres to which these criminal workers are forced to have recourse； arranging them with a talent and a richness of imagination to which a novelist can scarcely attain？
One thing is certain： there is about me a thick unwholesome atmosphere； in which I feel that air is lacking and I cannot breathe。 However； assure me； if you can； persuade me； I ask no better； that this is all an empty dream。 But in any case I am determined to have a full explanation with these two men to…morrow； and to obtain； although so late； more light than they have yet doled out to me。 。 。 。
Another and yet stranger fact！ As I wrote those last words； a noise of horses' hoofs came from the street。 Distrustful now of everything； I opened my window； and in the dawning light I saw a travelling carriage before the door of the inn； the postilion in the saddle； and Jacques Bricheteau talking to some one who was seated in the vehicle。 Deciding quickly on my action； I ran rapidly downstairs； but before I reached the bottom I heard the roll of wheels and the cracking of the postilion's whip。 At the foot of the staircase I came face to face with Jacques Bricheteau。 Without seeming embarrassed； in fact with the most natural air in the world； he said to me；
〃What！ my dear ward already up？〃
〃Of course； the least I could do was to say farewell to my excellent father。〃
〃He did not wish it；〃 replied that damned musician； with an imperturbability and phlegm that deserved a thrashing； 〃he feared the emotions of parting。〃
〃Is he so dreadfully hurried that he could not even give a day to his new and ardent paternity？〃
〃The truth is； he is an original； what he came to do； he has done； after that； to his mind； there is nothing to stay for。〃
〃Ah！ I understand； he hastens to those high functions he performs at that Northern court！〃
Jacques Bricheteau could no longer mistake the ironical tone in which these words were said。
〃Until now；〃 he said； 〃you have shown more faith。〃
〃Yes； but I confess that faith begins to stagger under the weight of the mysteries with which it is loaded down without relief。〃
〃Seeing you at this decisive moment in your career giving way to doubts which our whole conduct pursued to you through many years ought to refute； I should be almost in despair；〃 replied Jacques Bricheteau； 〃if I had none but personal denials and asseverations to offer you。 But； as you will remember； old Pigoult spoke of an aunt of mine； living in this neighborhood； where you will soon； I hope； find her position a most honorable one。 I had arranged that you should see her in the course of the day； but now； if you will grant me the time to shave； I will take you at once； early as it is； to the convent of the Ursulines。 There you shall question Mother Marie…des…Anges； who has the reputation of a saint throughout this whole department； and I think that at the close of your interview with her no doubt can remain upon your mind。〃
While that devil of a man was speaking； his countenance had so perfect a look of integrity and benevolence； his speech； always calm； elegant； and self…possessed； so impressed the mind of his hearer； that I felt the tide of my anger going down and my sense of security rising。
In fact； his answer /is/ irresistible。 The convent of the Ursuline sistersheavens and earth！ that can't be the rendezvous of makers of false coin； and if the Mother Marie…des…Anges guarantees my father to me； as it appears she has already done to the notary； I should be foolish indeed to persist in my doubts。
〃Very good；〃 I said to Jacques Bricheteau； 〃I will go up and get my hat and walk up and down the bank of the river until you are ready。〃
〃That's right； and be sure you watch the door of the hotel to see that I do not give you the slip as I did once upon a time on the Quai de Bethune。〃
Impossible to be more intelligent than that man； he seems to divine one's thoughts。 I was ashamed of this last doubt of mine； and told him that； on the whole； I would go and finish a letter while awaiting him。 It was this letter； dear friend； which I must now close if I wish it to go by to…day's post。 I will write you soon of my visit to the convent。
XIV
MARIE…GASTON TO MADAME LA COMTESSE DE L'ESTORADE
Arcis…sur…Aube； May 6； 1839。
Madame；In any case I should gladly have profited by the request you were so good as to make that I should write to you during my stay in this town； but in granting me this favor you could not really know the full extent of your charity。 Without you； madame； and the consolation of writing to you sometimes； what would become of me under the habitual weight of my sad thoughts in a town which has neither society； nor commerce； nor curiosities； nor environs； and where all intellectual activity spends itself on the making of pickled pork； soap…grease； stockings； and cotton night…caps。 Dorlange； whom I shall not long call by that name （you shall presently know why） is so absorbed in steering his electoral frigate that I scarcely see him。
I told you； madame； that I resolved to come down here and join our mutual friend in consequence of a certain trouble of mind apparent in one of his l