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rejoined us he was empty handed； and looked worried。 We asked him
where his cushion was。 He said he hadn't got a cushion； said he had
changed his mind； said he didn't think his aunt would care for a cushion。
Evidently something was amiss。 We tried to get at the bottom of it； but
he was not communicative。 Indeed； his answers after our twentieth
question or thereabouts became quite short。
In the evening； however； when he and I happened to be alone； he
broached the subject himself。 He said：
〃They are somewhat peculiar in some things； these Germans。〃
I said： 〃What has happened？〃
〃Well；〃 he answered； 〃there was that cushion I wanted。〃
〃For your aunt；〃 I remarked。
〃Why not？〃 he returned。 He was huffy in a moment； I never knew a
man so touchy about an aunt。 〃Why shouldn't I send a cushion to my
aunt？〃
〃Don't get excited；〃 I replied。 〃I am not objecting； I respect you for
it。〃
He recovered his temper； and went on：
〃There were four in the window； if you remember； all very much alike；
and each one labelled in plain figures twenty marks。 I don't pretend to
speak German fluently； but I can generally make myself understood with a
little effort； and gather the sense of what is said to me； provided they don't
gabble。 I went into the shop。 A young girl came up to me； she was a
pretty； quiet little soul； one might almost say； demure； not at all the sort of
girl from whom you would have expected such a thing。 I was never
more surprised in all my life。〃
〃Surprised about what？〃 I said。
George always assumes you know the end of the story while he is
telling you the beginning； it is an annoying method。
〃At what happened；〃 replied George； 〃at what I am telling you。 She
smiled and asked me what I wanted。 I understood that all right； there
could have been no mistake about that。 I put down a twenty mark piece
on the counter and said：
〃Please give me a cushion。〃
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〃She stared at me as if I had asked for a feather bed。 I thought；
maybe； she had not heard； so I repeated it louder。 If I had chucked her
under the chin she could not have looked more surprised or indignant。
〃She said she thought I must be making a mistake。
〃I did not want to begin a long conversation and find myself stranded。
I said there was no mistake。 I pointed to my twenty mark piece； and
repeated for the third time that I wanted a cushion； 'a twenty mark
cushion。'
〃Another girl came up； an elder girl； and the first girl repeated to her
what I had just said： she seemed quite excited about it。 The second girl
did not believe herdid not think I looked the sort of man who would want
a cushion。 To make sure； she put the question to me herself。
〃'Did you say you wanted a cushion？' she asked。
〃'I have said it three times；' I answered。 'I will say it againI want a
cushion。'
〃She said： 'Then you can't have one。'
〃I was getting angry by this time。 If I hadn't really wanted the thing I
should have walked out of the shop； but there the cushions were in the
window； evidently for sale。 I didn't see WHY I couldn't have one。
〃I said： 'I will have one！' It is a simple sentence。 I said it with
determination。
〃A third girl came up at this point； the three representing； I fancy； the
whole force of the shop。 She was a bright…eyed； saucy… looking little
wench； this last one。 On any other occasion I might have been pleased to
see her； now； her coming only irritated me。 I didn't see the need of three
girls for this business。
〃The first two girls started explaining the thing to the third girl； and
before they were half…way through the third girl began to giggleshe was
the sort of girl who would giggle at anything。 That done； they fell to
chattering like Jenny Wrens； all three together； and between every half…
dozen words they looked across at me； and the more they looked at me the
more the third girl giggled； and before they had finished they were all
three giggling； the little idiots； you might have thought I was a clown；
giving a private performance。
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〃When she was steady enough to move； the third girl came up to me；
she was still giggling。 She said：
〃'If you get it； will you go？'
〃I did not quite understand her at first； and she repeated it。
〃'This cushion。 When you've got it； will you goawayat once？'
〃I was only too anxious to go。 I told her so。 But； I added I was not
going without it。 I had made up my mind to have that cushion now if I
stopped in the shop all night for it。
〃She rejoined the other two girls。 I thought they were going to get
me the cushion and have done with the business。 Instead of that； the
strangest thing possible happened。 The two other girls got behind the
first girl； all three still giggling； Heaven knows what about； and pushed her
towards me。 They pushed her close up to me； and then； before I knew
what was happening； she put her hands on my shoulders； stood up on
tiptoe； and kissed me。 After which； burying her face in her apron； she ran
off； followed by the second girl。 The third girl opened the door for me；
and so evidently expected me to go； that in my confusion I went； leaving
my twenty marks behind me。 I don't say I minded the kiss； though I did
not particularly want it； while I did want the cushion。 I don't like to go
back to the shop。 I cannot understand the thing at all。〃
I said： 〃What did you ask for？〃
He said： 〃A cushion〃
I said： 〃That is what you wanted； I know。 What I mean is； what
was the actual German word you said。〃
He replied： 〃A kuss。〃
I said： 〃You have nothing to complain of。 It is somewhat confusing。
A 'kuss' sounds as if it ought to be a cushion； but it is not； it is a kiss； while
a 'kissen' is a cushion。 You muddled up the two wordspeople have done
it before。 I don't know much about this sort of thing myself； but you
asked for a twenty mark kiss； and from your description of the girl some
people might consider the price reasonable。 Anyhow； I should not tell
Harris。 If I remember rightly； he also has an aunt。〃
George agreed with me it would be better not。
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CHAPTER VIII
Mr。 and Miss Jones； of ManchesterThe benefits of cocoaA hint to
the Peace SocietyThe window as a mediaeval argumentThe favourite
Christian recreationThe language of the guideHow to repair the
ravages of timeGeorge tries a bottleThe fate of the German beer
drinkerHarris and I resolve to do a good actionThe usual sort of statue…
…Harris and his friendsA pepperless ParadiseWomen and towns。
We were on our way to Prague； and were waiting in the great hall of
the Dresden Station until such time as the powers…that…be should permit us
on to the platform。 George； who had wandered to the bookstall； returned
to us with a wild look in his eyes。 He said：
〃I've seen it。〃
I said； 〃Seen what？〃
He was too excited to answer intelligently。 He said
〃It's here。 It's coming this way； both of them。 If you wait； you'll see
it for yourselves。 I'm not joking； it's the real thing。〃
As is usual about this period； some paragraphs； more or less serious；
had been appearing in the papers concerning the sea… serpent； and I
thought for the moment he must be referr