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sorrow； mingled with alarm。 Next； George turned his gaze on me。 I
endeavoured； so far as lay with me； to copy Harris's expression； adding to
it on my own account a touch of reproof。
〃Will you have a cab？〃 I said as kindly as I could to George。 〃I'll run
and get one。〃
〃What the devil do I want with a cab？〃 he answered； ungraciously。
〃Can't you fellows understand a joke？ It's like being out with a couple of
confounded old women；〃 saying which； he started off across the bridge；
leaving us to follow。
〃I am so glad that was only a joke of yours；〃 said Harris； on our
overtaking him。 〃I knew a case of softening of the brain that began〃
〃Oh； you're a silly ass！〃 said George； cutting him short； 〃you know
everything。〃
He was really most unpleasant in his manner。
We took him round by the riverside of the theatre。 We told him it was
the shortest way； and； as a matter of fact； it was。 In the open space
behind the theatre stood the second of these wooden apparitions。 George
looked at it； and again stood still。
〃What's the matter？〃 said Harris； kindly。 〃You are not ill； are you？〃
〃I don't believe this is the shortest way；〃 said George。
〃I assure you it is；〃 persisted Harris。
〃Well； I'm going the other；〃 said George； and he turned and went； we；
as before； following him。
Along the Ferdinand Strasse Harris and I talked about private lunatic
asylums； which； Harris said； were not well managed in England。 He said
a friend of his； a patient in a lunatic asylum …
George said； interrupting： 〃You appear to have a large number of
friends in lunatic asylums。〃
He said it in a most insulting tone； as though to imply that that is
where one would look for the majority of Harris's friends。 But Harris did
not get angry； he merely replied； quite mildly：
〃Well； it really is extraordinary； when one comes to think of it； how
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many of them have gone that way sooner or later。 I get quite nervous
sometimes； now。〃
At the corner of the Wenzelsplatz； Harris； who was a few steps ahead
of us； paused。
〃It's a fine street； isn't it？〃 he said； sticking his hands in his pockets；
and gazing up at it admiringly。
George and I followed suit。 Two hundred yards away from us； in its
very centre； was the third of these ghostly statues。 I think it was the best
of the threethe most like； the most deceptive。 It stood boldly outlined
against the wild sky： the horse on its hind legs； with its curiously
attenuated tail； the man bareheaded； pointing with his plumed hat to the
now entirely visible moon。
〃I think； if you don't mind；〃 said Georgehe spoke with almost a
pathetic ring in his voice； his aggressiveness had completely fallen from
him；〃that I will have that cab； if there's one handy。〃
〃I thought you were looking queer；〃 said Harris； kindly。 〃It's your
head； isn't it？〃
〃Perhaps it is；〃 answered George。
〃I have noticed it coining on；〃 said Harris； 〃but I didn't like to say
anything to you。 You fancy you see things； don't you？〃
〃No； no； it isn't that；〃 replied George； rather quickly。 〃I don't know
what it is。〃
〃I do；〃 said Harris； solemnly； 〃and I'll tell you。 It's this German beer
that you are drinking。 I have known a case where a man〃
〃Don't tell me about him just now；〃 said George。 〃I dare say it's true；
but somehow I don't feel I want to hear about him。〃
〃You are not used to it；〃 said Harris。
〃I shall give it up from to…night；〃 said George。 〃I think you must be
right； it doesn't seem to agree with me。〃
We took him home； and saw him to bed。 He was very gentle and
quite grateful。
One evening later on； after a long day's ride； followed by a most
satisfactory dinner； we started him on a big cigar； and； removing things
from his reach； told him of this stratagem that for his good we had
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planned。
〃How many copies of that statue did you say we saw？〃 asked George；
after we had finished。
〃Three；〃 replied Harris。
〃Only three？〃 said George。 〃Are you sure？〃
〃Positive；〃 replied Harris。 〃Why？〃
〃Oh； nothing！〃 answered George。
But I don't think he quite believed Harris。
From Prague we travelled to Nuremberg； through Carlsbad。 Good
Germans； when they die； go； they say； to Carlsbad； as good Americans to
Paris。 This I doubt； seeing that it is a small place with no convenience
for a crowd。 In Carlsbad； you rise at five； the fashionable hour for
promenade； when the band plays under the Colonnade； and the Sprudel is
filled with a packed throng over a mile long； being from six to eight in the
morning。 Here you may hear more languages spoken than the Tower of
Babel could have echoed。 Polish Jews and Russian princes； Chinese
mandarins and Turkish pashas； Norwegians looking as if they had stepped
out of Ibsen's plays； women from the Boulevards； Spanish grandees and
English countesses； mountaineers from Montenegro and millionaires from
Chicago； you will find every dozen yards。 Every luxury in the world
Carlsbad provides for its visitors； with the one exception of pepper。 That
you cannot get within five miles of the town for money； what you can get
there for love is not worth taking away。 Pepper； to the liver brigade that
forms four…fifths of Carlsbad's customers； is poison； and； prevention being
better than cure； it is carefully kept out of the neighbourhood。 〃Pepper
parties〃 are formed in Carlsbad to journey to some place without the
boundary； and there indulge in pepper orgies。
Nuremberg； if one expects a town of mediaeval appearance；
disappoints。 Quaint corners； picturesque glimpses； there are in plenty；
but everywhere they are surrounded and intruded upon by the modern； and
even what is ancient is not nearly so ancient as one thought it was。 After
all； a town； like a woman； is only as old as it looks； and Nuremberg is still
a comfortable…looking dame； its age somewhat difficult to conceive under
its fresh paint and stucco in the blaze of the gas and the electric light。
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Still； looking closely； you may see its wrinkled walls and grey towers。
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CHAPTER IX
Harris breaks the lawThe helpful man： The dangers that beset him…
…George sets forth upon a career of crimeThose to whom Germany
would come as a boon and a blessingThe English Sinner： His
disappointmentsThe German Sinner： His exceptional advantages
What you may not do with your bedAn inexpensive vice… …The German
dog： His simple goodnessThe misbehaviour of the beetleA people
that go the way they ought to goThe German small boy： His love of
legalityHow to go astray with a perambulator The German student：
His chastened wilfulness。
All three of us； by some means or another； managed； between
Nuremberg and the Black Forest； to get into trouble。
Harris led off at Stuttgart by insulting an official。 Stuttgart is a
charming town； clean and bright； a smaller Dresden。 It has the additional
attraction of containing little that one need to go out of one's way to see：
a medium…sized picture gallery； a small museum of antiquities； and half a
palace； and you are through with the entire thing and can enjoy yourself。
Harris did not know it was an official he was i