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palace； and you are through with the entire thing and can enjoy yourself。
Harris did not know it was an official he was insulting。 He took it for a
fireman （it looked liked a fireman）； and he called it a 〃dummer Esel。〃
In German you are not permitted to call an official a 〃silly ass；〃 but
undoubtedly this particular man was one。 What had happened was this：
Harris in the Stadgarten； anxious to get out； and seeing a gate open before
him； had stepped over a wire into the street。 Harris maintains he never saw
it； but undoubtedly there was hanging to the wire a notice； 〃Durchgang
Verboten！〃 The man； who was standing near the gates stopped Harris；
and pointed out to him this notice。 Harris thanked him； and passed on。
The man came after him； and explained that treatment of the matter in
such off…hand way could not be allowed； what was necessary to put the
business right was that Harris should step back over the wire into the
garden。 Harris pointed out to the man that the notice said 〃going through
forbidden；〃 and that； therefore； by re…entering the garden that way he
would be infringing the law a second time。 The man saw this for himself；
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and suggested that to get over the difficulty Harris should go back into the
garden by the proper entrance； which was round the corner； and afterwards
immediately come out again by the same gate。 Then it was that Harris
called the man a silly ass。 That delayed us a day； and cost Harris forty
marks。
I followed suit at Carlsruhe； by stealing a bicycle。 I did not mean to
steal the bicycle； I was merely trying to be useful。 The train was on the
point of starting when I noticed； as I thought； Harris's bicycle still in the
goods van。 No one was about to help me。 I jumped into the van and
hauled it out； only just in time。 Wheeling it down the platform in triumph；
I came across Harris's bicycle； standing against a wall behind some milk…
cans。 The bicycle I had secured was not Harris's； but some other man's。
It was an awkward situation。 In England； I should have gone to the
stationmaster and explained my mistake。 But in Germany they are not
content with your explaining a little matter of this sort to one man： they
take you round and get you to explain it to about half a dozen； and if any
one of the half dozen happens not to be handy； or not to have time just
then to listen to you； they have a habit of leaving you over for the night to
finish your explanation the next morning。 I thought I would just put the
thing out of sight； and then； without making any fuss or show； take a short
walk。 I found a wood shed； which seemed just the very place； and was
wheeling the bicycle into it when； unfortunately； a red…hatted railway
official； with the airs of a retired field…marshal； caught sight of me and
came up。 He said：
〃What are you doing with that bicycle？〃
I said： 〃I am going to put it in this wood shed out of the way。〃 I tried
to convey by my tone that I was performing a kind and thoughtful action；
for which the railway officials ought to thank me； but he was
unresponsive。
〃Is it your bicycle？〃 he said。
〃Well； not exactly；〃 I replied。
〃Whose is it？〃 he asked； quite sharply。
〃I can't tell you；〃 I answered。 〃I don't know whose bicycle it is。〃
〃Where did you get it from？〃 was his next question。 There was a
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suspiciousness about his tone that was almost insulting。
〃I got it；〃 I answered； with as much calm dignity as at the moment I
could assume； 〃out of the train。〃
〃The fact is；〃 I continued； frankly； 〃I have made a mistake。〃
He did not allow me time to finish。 He merely said he thought so too；
and blew a whistle。
Recollection of the subsequent proceedings is not； so far as I am
concerned； amusing。 By a miracle of good luckthey say Providence
watches over certain of usthe incident happened in Carlsruhe； where I
possess a German friend； an official of some importance。 Upon what
would have been my fate had the station not been at Carlsruhe； or had my
friend been from home； I do not care to dwell； as it was I got off； as the
saying is； by the skin of my teeth。 I should like to add that I left
Carlsruhe without a stain upon my character； but that would not be the
truth。 My going scot free is regarded in police circles there to this day as
a grave miscarriage of justice。
But all lesser sin sinks into insignificance beside the lawlessness of
George。 The bicycle incident had thrown us all into confusion； with the
result that we lost George altogether。 It transpired subsequently that he
was waiting for us outside the police court； but this at the time we did not
know。 We thought； maybe； he had gone on to Baden by himself； and
anxious to get away from Carlsruhe； and not； perhaps； thinking out things
too clearly； we jumped into the next train that came up and proceeded
thither。 When George； tired of waiting； returned to the station； he found us
gone and he found his luggage gone。 Harris had his ticket； I was acting
as banker to the party； so that he had in his pocket only some small change。
Excusing himself upon these grounds； he thereupon commenced
deliberately a career of crime that； reading it later； as set forth baldly in the
official summons； made the hair of Harris and myself almost to stand on
end。
German travelling； it may be explained； is somewhat complicated。 You
buy a ticket at the station you start from for the place you want to go to。
You might think this would enable you to get there； but it does not。
When your train comes up； you attempt to swarm into it； but the guard
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magnificently waves you away。 Where are your credentials？ You show
him your ticket。 He explains to you that by itself that is of no service
whatever； you have only taken the first step towards travelling； you must
go back to the booking… office and get in addition what is called a
〃schnellzug ticket。〃 With this you return； thinking your troubles over。
You are allowed to get in； so far so good。 But you must not sit down
anywhere； and you must not stand still； and you must not wander about。
You must take another ticket； this time what is called a 〃platz ticket；〃
which entitles you to a place for a certain distance。
What a man could do who persisted in taking nothing but the one
ticket； I have often wondered。 Would he be entitled to run behind the
train on the six…foot way？ Or could he stick a label on himself and get
into the goods van？ Again； what could be done with the man who；
having taken his schnellzug ticket； obstinately refused； or had not the
money to take a platz ticket： would they let him lie in the umbrella rack；
or allow him to hang himself out of the window？
To return to George； he had just sufficient money to take a third… class
slow train ticket to Baden； and that was all。 To avoid the inquisitiveness
of the guard； he waited till the train was moving； and then jumped in。
That was his first sin：
（a） Entering a train in motion；
（b） After being warned not to do so by an official。
Second sin：
（a） Travelling in train of superior class to that for which ticket was
held。
（b） Refusing to pay difference when demanded by an official。
（George says he did not 〃refuse〃； he simply told the man he had not got
it。）
Third sin：
（a） Travelling in