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of the yacht； and by six o'clock we were scudding merrily up the coast。
We put in that night at Aldborough； and the next day worked up to
Yarmouth； where； as my friends had to leave； I decided to abandon the
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yacht。 We sold the stores by auction on Yarmouth sands early in the
morning。 I made a loss； but had the satisfaction of 〃doing〃 Captain
Goyles。 I left the Rogue in charge of a local mariner； who； for a couple
of sovereigns； undertook to see to its return to Harwich； and we came back
to London by train。 There may be yachts other than the Rogue； and
skippers other than Mr。 Goyles； but that experience has prejudiced me
against both。
George also thought a yacht would be a good deal of responsibility； so
we dismissed the idea。
〃What about the river？〃 suggested Harris。
〃We have had some pleasant times on that。〃
George pulled in silence at his cigar； and I cracked another nut。
〃The river is not what it used to be；〃 said I； 〃I don't know what； but
there's a somethinga dampnessabout the river air that always starts my
lumbago。〃
〃It's the same with me；〃 said George。 〃I don't know how it is； but I
never can sleep now in the neighbourhood of the river。 I spent a week at
Joe's place in the spring； and every night I woke up at seven o'clock and
never got a wink afterwards。〃
〃I merely suggested it；〃 observed Harris。 〃Personally； I don't think it
good for me； either； it touches my gout。〃
〃What suits me best；〃 I said； 〃is mountain air。 What say you to a
walking tour in Scotland？〃
〃It's always wet in Scotland；〃 said George。 〃I was three weeks in
Scotland the year before last； and was never dry once all the time… …not in
that sense。〃
〃It's fine enough in Switzerland；〃 said Harris。
〃They would never stand our going to Switzerland by ourselves；〃 I
objected。 〃You know what happened last time。 It must be some place
where no delicately nurtured woman or child could possibly live； a
country of bad hotels and comfortless travelling； where we shall have to
rough it； to work hard； to starve perhaps〃
〃Easy！〃 interrupted George； 〃easy； there！ Don't forget I'm coming
with you。〃
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〃I have it！〃 exclaimed Harris； 〃a bicycle tour！〃
George looked doubtful。
〃There's a lot of uphill about a bicycle tour；〃 said he； 〃and the wind is
against you。〃
〃So there is downhill； and the wind behind you；〃 said Harris。
〃I've never noticed it；〃 said George。
〃You won't think of anything better than a bicycle tour；〃 persisted
Harris。
I was inclined to agree with him。
〃And I'll tell you where；〃 continued he； 〃through the Black Forest。〃
〃Why； that's ALL uphill；〃 said George。
〃Not all；〃 retorted Harris； 〃say two…thirds。 And there's one thing
you've forgotten。〃
He looked round cautiously； and sunk his voice to a whisper。
〃There are little railways going up those hills； little cogwheel things
that〃
The door opened； and Mrs。 Harris appeared。 She said that
Ethelbertha was putting on her bonnet； and that Muriel； after waiting； had
given 〃The Mad Hatter's Tea Party〃 without us。
〃Club； to…morrow； at four；〃 whispered Harris to me； as he rose； and I
passed it on to George as we went upstairs
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CHAPTER II
A delicate businessWhat Ethelbertha might have saidWhat she did
sayWhat Mrs。 Harris saidWhat we told GeorgeWe will start on
WednesdayGeorge suggests the possibility of improving our minds
Harris and I are doubtfulWhich man on a tandem does the most work？
The opinion of the man in frontViews of the man behind How Harris
lost his wifeThe luggage questionThe wisdom of my late Uncle
PodgerBeginning of story about a man who had a bag。
I opened the ball with Ethelbertha that same evening。 I commenced
by being purposely a little irritable。 My idea was that Ethelbertha would
remark upon this。 I should admit it； and account for it by over brain
pressure。 This would naturally lead to talk about my health in general；
and the evident necessity there was for my taking prompt and vigorous
measures。 I thought that with a little tact I might even manage so that the
suggestion should come from Ethelbertha herself。 I imagined her saying：
〃No； dear； it is change you want； complete change。 Now be persuaded
by me； and go away for a month。 No； do not ask me to come with you。
I know you would rather that I did； but I will not。 It is the society of
other men you need。 Try and persuade George and Harris to go with you。
Believe me； a highly strung brain such as yours demands occasional
relaxation from the strain of domestic surroundings。 Forget for a little
while that children want music lessons； and boots； and bicycles； with
tincture of rhubarb three times a day； forget there are such things in life as
cooks； and house decorators； and next…door dogs； and butchers' bills。 Go
away to some green corner of the earth； where all is new and strange to
you； where your over…wrought mind will gather peace and fresh ideas。
Go away for a space and give me time to miss you； and to reflect upon
your goodness and virtue； which； continually present with me； I may；
human…like； be apt to forget； as one； through use； grows indifferent to the
blessing of the sun and the beauty of the moon。 Go away； and come back
refreshed in mind and body； a brighter； better manif that be possible
than when you went away。〃
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But even when we obtain our desires they never come to us garbed as
we would wish。 To begin with； Ethelbertha did not seem to remark that I
was irritable； I had to draw her attention to it。 I said：
〃You must forgive me； I'm not feeling quite myself to…night。〃
She said： 〃Oh！ I have not noticed anything different； what's the
matter with you？〃
〃I can't tell you what it is；〃 I said； 〃I've felt it coming on for weeks。〃
〃It's that whisky；〃 said Ethelbertha。 〃You never touch it except when
we go to the Harris's。 You know you can't stand it； you have not a strong
head。〃
〃It isn't the whisky；〃 I replied； 〃it's deeper than that。 I fancy it's more
mental than bodily。〃
〃You've been reading those criticisms again；〃 said Ethelbertha； more
sympathetically； 〃why don't you take my advice and put them on the fire？〃
〃And it isn't the criticisms；〃 I answered； 〃they've been quite flattering
of lateone or two of them。〃
〃Well； what is it？〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃there must be something to
account for it。〃
〃No； there isn't；〃 I replied； 〃that's the remarkable thing about it； I can
only describe it as a strange feeling of unrest that seems to have taken
possession of me。〃
Ethelbertha glanced across at me with a somewhat curious expression；
I thought； but as she said nothing； I continued the argument myself。
〃This aching monotony of life； these days of peaceful； uneventful
felicity； they appal one。〃
〃I should not grumble at them；〃 said Ethelbertha； 〃we might get some
of the other sort； and like them still less。〃
〃I'm not so sure of that；〃 I replied。 〃In a life of continuous joy； I can
imagine even pain coming as a welcome variation。 I wonder sometimes
whether the saints in heaven do not occasionally feel the continual serenity
a burden。 To myself a life of endless bliss； uninterrupted by a single
contrasting note； would； I feel； grow maddening。