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can make someone else call me back。 Thanks； l…l…love。” Click。
I hung up the phone； dumbfounded； and started to laugh。 Emily looked
up from one of Miranda’s expense reports and asked who it was。 When
I told her it was Judith； she rolled her eyes so deeply they almost
didn’t resurface and whined； “She’s such a supreme bitch。 I have；
like； no idea how Miranda even speaks to her。 She won’t take her
calls； though； so you don’t even have to tell her she’s on the
phone。 Just put her on the Bulletin and Miranda will have someone
else call her back。” It seems Judith understood the inner workings
of our office better than I。
I double…clicked on the icon on my sleek turquoise iMac called
“Bulletin” and glanced over its contents so far。 The Bulletin was
thepièce de résistance of Miranda Priestly’s office and； as far as I
could see； her sole reason for living。 Developed many years before
by some high…strung； pulsive assistant； the Bulletin was simply a
Word document that lived in a shared folder both Emily and I could
access。 Only one of us could open it at a time and add a new
message； thought； or question to the itemized list。 Then we’d print
out the updated version and place it on the clipboard that sat on
the shelf over my desk； removing the old ones as we went。 Miranda
would examine it every few minutes throughout the day as Emily and I
struggled to type； print； and clip as quickly as the calls came in。
Often we’d hiss at each other to close the Bulletin so the other
could access it and write a message。 We’d print to our separate
printers simultaneously and dive for the clipboard； not knowing
whose was the most recent until we were face to face。
“Judith’s the latest message on mine；” I said； exhausted from the
pressure of trying to finish it before Miranda entered the suite。
Eduardo had called from the security desk downstairs to warn us that
she was on her way upstairs。 We hadn’t gotten a call from Sophy yet；
but we knew it’d be only seconds。
“I have the concierge from the Ritz Paris after Judith；” Emily
near…shouted； triumphantly； while clipping her sheet to the Lucite
clipboard。 I took my four…second outdated Bulletin back to the desk
and glanced over it。 Dashes in phone numbers were not permissible；
only periods。 There were to be no colons in the time； only periods。
Times must be rounded up or down to the nearest quarter…hour。
Call…back phone numbers always got their own lines to make them
easier to distinguish。 A time listed indicated that someone had
called in。 The word “note” was something that Emily or I had to tell
her （since addressing her without being first addressed was out of
the question； all relevant info went on the Bulletin）。 “Reminder”
was something Miranda had most likely left on one of our voice mails
sometime between one and fiveA 。M。 the previous night； knowing that
once it was recorded for us； it was as good as done。 We were to
refer to ourselves in the third person—if it was absolutely crucial
for us to refer to ourselves at all。
She often asked us to find out exactly when and at what number a
particular person would be available to speak。 In this case it was a
tossup whether the fruits of our investigation would go under “note”
or “reminder。” I remember once thinking that the Bulletin read like
a who’s who in the Prada crowd； but the names of the superbigmoney；
the superhighfashion； and the generally superimpressive had ceased
to register as “special” on my desensitized brain。 In my newRunway
reality； the White House social secretary held little more interest
than the vet who needed to speak to her about the puppy’s
vaccinations （fat chance of him getting a call back！）。
Thursday； April 8
7。30： Simone called from the Paris office。 She figured out dates
with Mr。 Testino for the Rio shoot and also confirmed with Giselle’s
agent； but she still needs to discuss the fashion with you。 Please
call her。
011。33。1。55。91。30。65
8。15： Mr。 Tomlinson called。 He is on cell。 Please call him。
Note： Andrea spoke with Bruce。 He said that the large mirror in your
foyer has a piece of decorative plaster missing from the upper
left…hand corner。 He located an identical mirror at an antique shop
in Bordeaux。 Would you like him to order it？
8。30： Jonathan Cole called。 He is leaving for Melbourne on Saturday
and would like to clarify the assignment before he leaves。 Please
call him。
555。7700
Reminder： To call Karl Lagerfeld about the Model of the Year party。
He will be reachable at his Home in Biarritz this evening from
8。00–8。30P 。M。 his time。
011。33。1。55。22。06。78： Home
011。33。1。55。22。58。29： Home studio
011。33。1。55。22。92。64： driver
011。33。1。55。66。76。33： assistant’s number in Paris； in case you
cannot find him
9。00： Natalie from Glorious Foods called to see whether you’d prefer
that the Vacherin be filled with mixed berries praline or warm
rhubarb pote。 Please call her。
555。9887
9。00： Ingrid Sischy called to congratulate you on the April issue。
Says the cover is “spectacular； as always” and wants toknow who
styled the front…of…book beauty shoot。 Please call her。
555。6246： office
555。8833： Home
Note： Miho Kosudo called to apologize for being unable to deliver
Damien Hirst’s flower arrangement。 They said to be sure to tell you
that they waited outside his building for four hours； but since he
doesn’t have a doorman； they had to leave。 They will try again
tomorrow。
9。15： Mr。 Samuels called。 He will be unreachable until after lunch；
but wants to remind you of parent…teacher conferences tonight at
Horace Mann。 He would like to discuss Caroline’s history project
with you before hand。 Please call him after 2。00P 。M。 but before
4。00P 。M。
555。5932
9。15： Mr。 Tomlinson called again。 He asked Andrea to make
reservations for dinner tonight after parent…teacher conferences。
Please call him。 He is on cell。
Note： Andrea made reservations for you and Mr。 Tomlinson tonight at
8。00P 。M。 at La Caravelle。 Rita Jammet said she is looking forward
to seeing you again； and she’s delighted you chose her restaurant。
9。30： Donatella Versace called。 She said everything’s confirmed for
your visit。 Will you be needing any staff besides a driver； a chef；
a trainer； a hair and makeup person； a personal assistant； three
maids； and a yacht captain？ If so； please let her know before she
leaves for Milan。 She will also provide Cell Phones； but won’t be
able to join you as she’ll be preparing for the shows。
011。3901。55。27。55。61
9。45： Judith Mason called。 Please call her back。
555。6834
I crumpled the sheet and tossed it in the basket under my desk；
where it immediately soaked up the leftover grease from Miranda’s
third morning breakfast that I’d already thrown out。 So far； a
relatively normal day as far as the Bulletin was concerned。 I was
just about to click “inbox” on my Hotmail account to see if anyone
had e…mailed yet when she cruised into the office。 Damn that Sophy！
She’d forgotten the warning call again。
“I expect the Bulletin is updated；” she said icily without making
eye contact or otherwise acknowledging our presence。
“It is； Miranda；” I replied； holding it up to her so she needn’t so
much as reach for it。Three words and counting； I thought to myself；
predicting—and praying—it wouldn’t be more than a seventy…five…word
day on my part。 She removed her waist…length mink； so plush I had to
restrain myself from burying my face into it right there； and tossed
it onto my desk。 As I went to hang that magnificent dead animal in
the closet； trying to rub it discreetly against my cheek； I felt a
quick shock of cold and wet： there were tiny bits of still…frozen
sleet stuck to the fur。 How fabulously apropos。
Pulling the lid from a lukewarm latte； I carefully arranged today’s
greasy pile of bacon； sausage； and cheese…filled pastry on a filthy
plate。 I tiptoed into her office and carefully placed everything
unobtrusively on a corner of her desk。 She was concentrating on
writing a note on her ecru Dempsey and Carroll stationery and spoke
so softly I almost didn’t hear。
“Ahn…dre…ah； I need to discuss the engagement party with you。 Get a
notebook。”
I nodded； simultaneously realizing that nodding doesn’t count as a
word。 This engagement party had already bee the bane of my
existence and it was still more than a month away； but since Miranda
was leaving for the European shows soon and would be gone for two
weeks； planning this party ha