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this than anything else。”
“You’re right； you’re totally right。”
“And besides； it would guarantee that you’re moving to New York；
which； I have to say； is very appealing to me right now。” He kissed
me； one of those long； lazy kisses it seemed we had personally
invented。 “But stop worrying so much。 Like you said yourself； you’re
still not sure you have the job。 Let’s wait and see。”
We cooked a simple dinner and fell asleep watching Letterman。 I was
dreaming about obnoxious little nine…year…olds having sex on the
playground while they swigged forties of Olde English and screamed
at my sweet； loving boyfriend when the phone rang。
Alex picked it up and pressed it to his ear but didn’t bother to
open his eyes or say hello。 He quickly dropped it next to me。 I
wasn’t sure I could muster the energy to pick it up。
“Hello？” I mumbled； glancing at the clock and seeing that it was
7：15A 。M。 Who the hell would call at such an hour？
“It’s me；” barked a very angry…sounding Lily。
“Hi； is everything OK？”
“Do you think I’d be calling you if everything was OK？ I’m so
hungover I could die； and I finally stop puking long enough to fall
asleep； and I’m awakened by a scarily perky woman who says she works
in HR at Elias…Clark。 And she’s looking for you。 Atseven…fifteen in
the freakin’ morning。 So call her back。 And tell her to lose my
number。”
“Sorry； Lil。 I gave them your number because I don’t have a cell
yet。 I can’t believe she called so early！ I wonder if that’s good or
bad？” I took the portable and crept out of the bedroom； quietly
closing the door as I went。
“Whatev。 Good luck。 Let me know how it goes。 Just not in the next
couple hours； OK？”
“Will do。 Thanks。 And sorry。”
I looked at my watch again and couldn’t believe I was about to have
a Business conversation。 I put on a pot of Coffee and waited until
it had finished brewing and brought a cup to the couch。 It was time
to call。 I had no choice。
“Hello； this is Andrea Sachs；” I said firmly； although my voice
betrayed me with its deep； raspy； just…woke…up…ness。
“Andrea； good morning！ Hope I didn’t call too early；” Sharon sang；
her own voice full of sunshine。 “I’m sure I didn’t； my dear；
especially since you’ll have to be an early bird soon enough！ I have
some very good news。 Miranda was very impressed with you and said
she’s very much looking forward to working with you。 Isn’t that
wonderful？ Congratulations； dear。 How does it feel to be Miranda
Priestly’s new assistant？ I imagine that you’re just—”
My head was spinning。 I tried to pull myself off the couch to get
some more Coffee； water； anything that might clear my head and turn
her words back into English； but I only sank further into the
cushions。 Was she asking me if I would like the job？ Or was she
making an official offer？ I couldn’t make sense of anything she’d
just said； anything other than the fact that Miranda Priestly had
liked me。
“—delighted with this news。 Who wouldn’t be； right？ So let’s see；
you can start on Monday； right？ She’ll actually be on vacation then；
but that’s a great time to start。 Give you a little time to get
acquainted with the other girls—oh； they’re all such sweeties！”
Acquainted？ What？ Starting Monday？ Sweetie girls？ It was refusing to
make sense in my addled brain。 I picked a single phrase that I’d
understood and responded to it。
“Um； well； I don’t think I can start Monday；” I said quietly； hoping
I’d indeed said something coherent。 Saying those words had shocked
me into semiwakefulness。 I’d walked through the Elias…Clark doors
for the very first time the day before； and was being awakened from
a deep sleep to listen to someone tell me that I was to begin work
in three days。 It was Friday—at seven o’clock in the goddamn
morning—and they wanted me to start on Monday？ It began to feel like
everything was spiraling out of control。 Why the ridiculous rush？
Was this woman so important that she needed me so badly？ And why
exactly did Sharon herself sound so scared of Miranda？
Starting Monday would be impossible。 I had nowhere to live。 Home
base was my parents’ house in Avon； the place I’d grudgingly moved
back to after graduation； and where most of my things remained while
I’d traveled during the summer。 All of my interview…related clothes
were piled on Lily’s couch。 I’d been trying to do the dishes and
empty her ashtrays and buy pints of Hä；agen…Dazs so she wouldn’t hate
me； but I thought it only fair to give her a much…needed break from
my unending presence； so I camped out on weekends at Alex’s。 That
put all of my weekend going…out clothes and fun makeup at Alex’s in
Brooklyn； my laptop and mismatched suits at Lily’s Harlem studio；
and the rest of my life at my parents’ house in Avon。 I had no
apartment in New York and didn’t particularly understand how
everyone knew that Madison Avenue ran uptown but Broadway ran down。
I didn’t actually know what uptown was。 And she wanted me to start
Monday？
“Um； well； I don’t think I can do this Monday because I don’t
currently live in New York；” I quickly explained； clutching the
phone； “and I’ll need a couple days to find an apartment and buy
some furniture and move。”
“Oh； well； then。 I suppose Wednesday would be OK；” she sniffed。
After a few more minutes of haggling； we finally settled on November
17； a week from Monday。 That left me a little more than eight days
to find and furnish a Home in one of the craziest real estate
markets in the world。
I hung up and flopped back down on the couch。 My hands were
trembling； and I let the phone drop to the floor。 A week。 I had a
week to start working at the job I’d just accepted as Miranda
Priestly’s assistant。 But； wait！ That’s what was bothering me 。 。 。
I hadn’t actually accepted the job because it hadn’t even been
officially offered。 Sharon hadn’t even had to utter the words “We’d
like to make you an offer；” since she took it for granted that
anyone with some semblance of intelligence would obviously just
accept。 No one had so much as mentioned the word “salary。” I almost
laughed out loud。 Was this some sort of war tactic they’d perfected？
Wait until the victim was finally deep into REM sleep after an
extremely stressful day and then throw some life…altering news at
her？ Or had she just assumed that it would be wasted time and breath
to do something as mundane as make a job offer and wait for
acceptance； considering that this wasRunway magazine？ Sharon had
just assumed that of course I’d jump all over the chance； that I’d
be thrilled with the opportunity。 And； as they always were at
Elias…Clark； she was right。 It had all happened so fast； so
frenetically； that I hadn’t had time to debate and deliberate as
usual。 But I had a good feeling that thiswas an opportunity I’d be
crazy to turn down； that this could actually be a great first step
to getting toThe New Yorker 。 I had to try it。 I was lucky to have
it。
Newly energized； I gulped the rest of my Coffee； brewed another cup
for Alex； and took a quick； hot shower。 When I went back into his
room； he was just sitting up。
“You’re dressed already？” he asked； fumbling for the tiny
wire…rimmed glasses he was blind without。 “Did someone call this
morning； or did I dream that？”
“Not a dream；” I said； crawling back under the covers even though I
was wearing jeans and a turtleneck sweater。 I was careful not to let
my wet hair soak his pillows。 “That was Lily。 The HR woman from
Elias…Clark called her place because that’s the number I gave them。
And guess what？”
“You got the job？”
“I got the job！”
“Oh； e here！” he said； sitting up and hugging me。 “I’m so proud
of you！ That’s great news； it really is。”
“So you really think it’s a good opportunity？ I know we talked about
it； but they didn’t even give me a chance to decide。 She just
assumed that I’d want the job。”
“It’s an amazing opportunity。 fashion isn’t the worst thing on
earth—maybe it’ll even be interesting。”
I rolled my eyes。
“OK； so maybe that’s going a little far。 But withRunway on your
résumé and a letter from this Miranda woman； and maybe even a few
clips by the time you’re done； hell； you can do anything。The New
Yorker will be beating down your door。”
“I hope you’re right； I really do。” I jumped up and starting
throwing my things in my backpack。 “Is it still OK if I borrow your
car？ The sooner I get Home； the sooner I can