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filled out the front information page in her daily planner and
had listed you as her emergency contact； since her
grandmother’s really not doing all that well。 Anyway； I guess
the hospital called you at Home and on your cell； but of
course you weren’t checking either one。 When no one called
them back or showed up in twenty…four hours； they went through
her planner and noticed that we have the same last name as
you； and so the hospital called here to see if we knew how to
reach you。 Mom and I couldn’t remember where you were staying；
so we called Alex for the name of the hotel。”
“Oh my god； it was a day ago。 Has she been alone this whole
time？ Is she still in the hospital？” I couldn’t ask the
questions fast enough； but I still felt like I wasn’t getting
any answers。 All I knew for sure was that Lily had decided on
me as the primary person in her life； the emergency contact
you always had to list but never； ever took seriously。 And
here she’d really needed me—didn’t have anyone else； in
fact—and I’d been nowhere to be found。 My choking had
subsided； but the tears continued to pour down my cheeks in
hot； angry streaks； and my throat felt as though it had been
scraped raw with a pumice stone。
“Yes； she’s still in the hospital。 I’m going to be very honest
with you； Andy。 We’re not sure if she’s going to be all
right。”
“What？ What are you saying？ Will someone just tell me
something concrete already？”
“Honey； I’ve spoken to her doctor a half…dozen times already；
and I have plete confidence that she’s getting the best
attention。 But Lily’s in a a； sweetie。 Now； the doctor did
reassure me that—”
“A a？ Lily is in a a？” Nothing was making sense anymore；
the words were refusing to take on meaning。
“Honey； try to calm down。 I know this is shocking for you and
I hate to do this over the phone。 We considered not telling
you until you got back； but since that’s still half a week
away； we figured you had a right to know。 But also know that
Mom and I are doing everything we can to make sure that Lily
gets the best help。 She’s always been like a daughter to us；
you know that； so she’s not going to be alone。”
“Oh my god； I have to e home。 Dad； I have to e Home！ She
doesn’t have anybody but me； and I’m across the Atlantic。 Oh；
but that fucking party is the night after tomorrow and it’s
the sole reason she brought me and she’ll definitely fire me
if I’m not there。 Think！ I need to think！”
“Andy； it’s late there。 I think the best thing you could do is
get some sleep； take a little time to think things over。 Of
course I knew you’d want to e Home right away； because
that’s the kind of person you are； but keep in mind that for
right now Lily is not conscious。 Her doctor assured me that
the chances are excellent that she’ll e out of this in the
next forty…eight to seventy…two hours； that her body is just
using this as an extended and deeper sleep to help itself
heal。 But nothing is certain；” he added； softly。
“And if she does e out of it？ I’m assuming she could have
all sorts of brain damage and horrible paralysis and things
like that？ Oh my god； I can’t stand it。”
“They just don’t know yet。 They said that she is responsive to
stimuli in her feet and legs； which is a good indication that
there’s no paralysis。 But there’s a lot of swelling around her
head； and it won’t be possible to know anything for sure until
she es out of this。 We just need to wait。”
We spoke for a few minutes longer before I hung up abruptly
and called Alex’s Cell Phone。
“Hi； it’s me。 Have you seen her？” I asked without so much as a
hello。 I was now a mini…Miranda。
“Andy。 Hi。 So you know？”
“Yeah； I just got off the phone with my parents。 Have you seen
her？”
“Yes； I’m at the hospital now。 They won’t let me in her room
right now since it’s not visiting hours and I’m not family；
but I wanted to be here just in case she wakes up。” He sounded
very； very far away； pletely lost in his own thoughts。
“What happened？ My mom said something about how she was
driving and hit a cab or something？ None of it makes any sense
to me。”
“Uch； it’s a nightmare；” he sighed； clearly unhappy that no
one else had told me the story yet。 “I’m not sure I know
exactly； but I did talk to the guy she was with when it
happened。 You remember Benjamin； that guy she was seeing in
college who she walked in on having a threesome with those
girls？”
“Of course； he works in my building now。 I see him sometimes。
What the hell was she doing with him？ Lily hates him—she’s
never gotten over that。”
“I know； that’s what I thought； too； but it seems they’ve been
hanging out lately and they were together last night。 He says
they had gotten tickets to see Phish at Nassau Coliseum and
drove out there together。 I guess Benjamin smoked too much and
decided he shouldn’t drive his car Home； so Lily volunteered。
They made it back to the city with no problems until Lily ran
a red light and then turned the wrong way down Madison；
straight into oning traffic。 They hit a cab head…on； on the
driver’s side； and； well； uh； you know。” He choked up at this
point； and I knew things must be worse than anyone had let on。
I’d done nothing but ask questions the last half hour—to my
mom； my dad； and now Alex—but I couldn’t bring myself to ask
the most obvious one： Why had Lily run a red light and then
tried to drive south on an avenue that only ran north？ But I
didn’t need to； because Alex； as always； knew exactly what I
was thinking。
“Andy； her blood alcohol level was nearly twice the legal
limit。” He stated this matter…of…factly； trying not to swallow
the words so I wouldn’t ask him to repeat them。
“Oh my god。”
“If—when—she wakes up； she’s going to have even more to deal
with than her health： she’s in a lot of trouble。 Luckily； the
cabbie was OK； just a few bumps and bruises； and Benjamin’s
left leg is pletely smashed up； but he’ll be fine； too。 We
just need to wait for Lily。 When are you ing Home？”
“What？” I was still trying to process the fact that Lily had
been “seeing” a guy I’d always thought she hated； that she’d
ended up in a a because she was so drunk when she was with
him。
“I said； when are you ing home？” When I was silent for a
moment； he continued。 “You are ing Home； aren’t you？ You’re
not seriously considering staying there while your best friend
on earth lies in a hospital bed； are you？”
“What are you suggesting； Alex？ Are you suggesting that this
is my fault because I didn’t see it ing？ That she’s lying
in that hospital bed because I’m in Paris right now？ That if I
had known she was hanging out with Benjamin again none of this
would have happened？ What？ What exactly are you saying？” I
shrieked； all of the confusing emotions of the night boiling
over into a simple； urgent need to scream at someone else。
“No； I didn’t say any of that。 You did。 I just assumed that of
course you’d be ing Home to be with her as soon as
possible。 I’m not passing judgment on you； Andy—you know that。
I also know that it’s really late for you already and there’s
nothing you can do in the next couple hours； so why don’t you
call me when you know what flight you’re on。 I’ll pick you up
at the airport and we can e straight to the hospital。”
“Fine。 Thanks for being there for her。 I really appreciate it
and I know Lily does； too。 I’ll call you when I know what I’m
doing。”
“OK； Andy。 I miss you。 And I know you’ll do the right thing。”
The line went dead before I could pounce all over that one。
Do the right thing？ Theright thing？ What the hell did that
mean？ I hated that he had just assumed I would jump on a plane
and race Home because he told me to。 Hated his condescending；
preachy tone of voice that immediately made me feel like one
of his students who’d just been caught talking during class。
Hated that he was the one who was with Lily now even though
she was my friend； that he was the one acting as a liaison
between my own parents and me； that he was once again sitting
on his moral high horse and calling the shots。 Gone were the
old days； when I might have hung up forted by his presence；
knowing that we were in this together and would get through it
together； instead of as warring factions。 When had things
bee like this？
There was no energy left to point out the obvious to him；
namely； that if I left early to e Home； I’d