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and obedient servants； and the 〃love； honour； and obey〃 of the marriage
service might now more logically be spoken by the man； on the lips of the
women of to…day it is but a graceful 〃FACON DE PARLER；〃 and holds
only those who choose to be bound。
It is not my intention to rail against the short…comings of the day。 That
ungrateful task I leave to sterner moralists； and hopeful souls who naively
imagine they can stem the current of an epoch with the barrier of their
eloquence； or sweep back an ocean of innovations by their logic。 I should
like； however； to ask my sisters one question： Are they quite sure that
women gain by these changes？ Do they imagine； these 〃sporty〃 young
females in short… cut skirts and mannish shirts and ties； that it is seductive
to a lover； or a husband to see his idol in a violent perspiration； her
draggled hair blowing across a sunburned face； panting up a long hill in
front of him on a bicycle； frantic at having lost her race？ Shade of gentle
William！ who said
A woman moved； is like a fountain troubled； … Muddy； ill…seeming；
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thick； bereft of beauty。 And while it is so； none so dry or thirsty Will deign
to sip or touch one drop of it。
Is the modern girl under the impression that men will be contented
with poor imitations of themselves； to share their homes and be the
mothers of their children？ She is throwing away the substance for the
shadow！
The moment women step out from the sanctuary of their homes； the
glamour that girlhood or maternity has thrown around them cast aside； that
moment will they cease to rule mankind。 Women may agitate until they
have obtained political recognition； but will awake from their foolish
dream of power； realizing too late what they have sacrificed to obtain it；
that the price has been very heavy； and the fruit of their struggles bitter on
their lips。
There are few men； I imagine； of my generation to whom the words
〃home〃 and 〃mother〃 have not a penetrating charm； who do not look back
with softened heart and tender thoughts to fireside scenes of evening
readings and twilight talks at a mother's knee； realizing that the best in
their natures owes its growth to these influences。
I sometimes look about me and wonder what the word 〃mother〃 will
mean later； to modern little boys。 It will evoke； I fear； a confused
remembrance of some centaur…like being； half woman； half wheel； or as it
did to neglected little Rawdon Crawley； the vision of a radiant creature in
gauze and jewels； driving away to endless FETES … FETES followed by
long mornings； when he was told not to make any noise； or play too loudly；
〃as poor mamma is resting。〃 What other memories can the 〃successful〃
woman of to…day hope to leave in the minds of her children？ If the child
remembers his mother in this way； will not the man who has known and
perhaps loved her； feel the same sensation of empty futility when her name
is mentioned？
The woman who proposes a game of cards to a youth who comes to
pass an hour in her society； can hardly expect him to carry away a
particularly tender memory of her as he leaves the house。 The girl who has
rowed； ridden； or raced at a man's side for days； with the object of getting
the better of him at some sport or pastime； cannot reasonably hope to be
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connected in his thoughts with ideas more tender or more elevated than
〃odds〃 or 〃handicaps；〃 with an undercurrent of pique if his unsexed
companion has 〃downed〃 him successfully。
What man； unless he be singularly dissolute or unfortunate； but turns
his steps； when he can； towards some dainty parlor where he is sure of
finding a smiling； soft…voiced woman； whose welcome he knows will
soothe his irritated nerves and restore the even balance of his temper；
whose charm will work its subtle way into his troubled spirit？ The wife he
loves； or the friend he admires and respects； will do more for him in one
such quiet hour when two minds commune； coming closer to the real man；
and moving him to braver efforts； and nobler aims； than all the beauties
and 〃sporty〃 acquaintances of a lifetime。 No matter what a man's
education or taste is； none are insensible to such an atmosphere or to the
grace and witchery a woman can lend to the simplest surroundings。 She
need not be beautiful or brilliant to hold him in lifelong allegiance； if she
but possess this magnetism。
Madame Recamier was a beautiful； but not a brilliant woman； yet she
held men her slaves for years。 To know her was to fall under her charm；
and to feel it once was to remain her adorer for life。 She will go down to
history as the type of a fascinating woman。 Being asked once by an
acquaintance what spell she worked on mankind that enabled her to hold
them for ever at her feet； she laughingly answered：
〃I have always found two words sufficient。 When a visitor comes into
my salon； I say； 'ENFIN！' and when he gets up to go away； I say； 'DEJA！' 〃
〃What is this wonderful 'charm' he is writing about？〃 I hear some
sprightly maiden inquire as she reads these lines。 My dear young lady； if
you ask the question； you have judged yourself and been found wanting。
But to satisfy you as far as I can； I will try and define it … not by telling you
what it is； that is beyond my power … but by negatives； the only way in
which subtle subjects can be approached。
A woman of charm is never flustered and never DISTRAITE。 She
talks little； and rarely of herself； remembering that bores are persons who
insist on talking about themselves。 She does not break the thread of a
conversation by irrelevant questions or confabulate in an undertone with
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the servants。 No one of her guests receives more of her attention than
another and none are neglected。 She offers to each one who speaks the
homage of her entire attention。 She never makes an effort to be brilliant or
entertain with her wit。 She is far too clever for that。 Neither does she
volunteer information nor converse about her troubles or her ailments； nor
wander off into details about people you do not know。
She is all things … to each man she likes； in the best sense of that phrase；
appreciating his qualities； stimulating him to better things。
… for his gayer hours She has a voice of gladness and a smile and
eloquence of beauty； and she glides Into his darker musings with a mild
and healing sympathy that steals away Their sharpness ere he is aware。
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CHAPTER 2 … The Moth and the
Star
THE truth of the saying that 〃it is always the unexpected that
happens；〃 receives in this country a confirmation from an unlooked… for
quarter； as does the fact of human nature being always； discouragingly； the
same in spite of varied surroundings。 This sounds like a paradox； but is an
exceedingly simple statement easily proved。
That the great mass of Americans； drawn as they are from such varied
sources； should take any interest in the comings and goings or social
doings of a small set of wealthy and fashionable people； is certainly an
unexpected development。 That to read of the amusements and home life of
a clique of people with whom they have little in common； whose whole
education and point of view are different from their own； and whom they
have rarely seen and never expect to meet； should afford the average
citizen any amusement seems little short of impossible。
One accepts as a natural sequence that abroad （where an hereditary
nobility have ruled for centuries； and accustomed the people to look up to
th