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days in the same place。 Early winter found her 〃getting her house in
order；〃 a mysterious rite apparently attended with vast worry and fatigue。
With cooling enthusiasm； the painter called and coaxed and waited。
November brought the opera and the full swing of a New York season。 So
far she has given him half a dozen sittings； squeezed in between a
luncheon； which made her 〃unavoidably late；〃 for which she is charmingly
〃sorry；〃 and a reception that she was forced to attend； although 〃it breaks
my heart to leave just as you are beginning to work so well； but I really
must； or the tiresome old cat who is giving the tea will be saying all sorts
of unpleasant things about me。〃 So she flits off； leaving the poor；
disillusioned painter before his canvas； knowing now that his dream is
over； that in a month or two his pretty sitter will be off again to New
Orleans for the carnival； or abroad； and that his weary round of waiting
will recommence。 He will be fortunate if some day it does not float back
to him； in the mysterious way disagreeable things do come to one； that she
has been heard to say； 〃I fear dear Mr。 Palette is not very clever； for I have
been sitting to him for over a year； and he has really done nothing yet。〃
He has been simply the victim of a state of affairs that neither of them
were strong enough to break through。 It never entered into Beauty's head
that she could lead a life different from her friends。 She was honestly
anxious to have a successful portrait of herself； but the sacrifice of any of
her habits was more than she could make。
Who among my readers （and I am tempted to believe they are all more
sensible than the above young woman） has not； during a summer passed
with agreeable friends； made a thousand pleasant little plans with them for
the ensuing winter； … the books they were to read at the same time； the
〃exhibitions〃 they were to see； the visits to our wonderful collections in
the Metropolitan Museum or private galleries； cosy little dinners； etc。？
And who has not found； as the winter slips away； that few of these
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charming plans have been carried out？ He and his friends have
unconsciously fallen back into their ruts of former years； and the pleasant
things projected have been brushed aside by that strongest of tyrants；
habit。
I once asked a very great lady； whose gracious manner was never
disturbed； who floated through the endless complications of her life with
smiling serenity； how she achieved this Olympian calm。 She was good
enough to explain。 〃I make a list of what I want to do each day。 Then； as I
find my day passing； or I get behind； or tired； I throw over every other
engagement。 I could have done them all with hurry and fatigue。 I prefer to
do one…half and enjoy what I do。 If I go to a house； it is to remain and
appreciate whatever entertainment has been prepared for me。 I never offer
to any hostess the slight of a hurried； DISTRAIT 'call；' with glances at my
watch； and an 'on…the…wing' manner。 It is much easier not to go； or to send
a card。〃
This brings me around to a subject which I believe is one of the causes
of my correspondent's dilemma。 I fear that she never can refuse anything。
It is a peculiar trait of people who go about to amuse themselves； that they
are always sure the particular entertainment they have been asked to last is
going to 〃be amusing。〃 It rarely is different from the others； but these
people are convinced； that to stay away would be to miss something。 A
weary…looking girl about 1 A。M。 （at a house…party） when asked why she
did not go to bed if she was so tired； answered； 〃the nights I go to bed
early； they always seem to do something jolly； and then I miss it。〃
There is no greater proof of how much this weary round wears on
women than the acts of the few who feel themselves strong enough in their
position to defy custom。 They have thrown off the yoke （at least the
younger ones have） doubtless backed up by their husbands； for men are
much quicker to see the aimlessness of this stupid social routine。 First they
broke down the great New…Year…call 〃grind。〃 Men over forty doubtless
recall with a shudder； that awful custom which compelled a man to get
into his dress clothes at ten A。M。； and pass his day rushing about from
house to house like a postman。 Out…of…town clubs and sport helped to do
away with that remnant of New Amsterdam。 Next came the male revolt
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from the afternoon 〃tea〃 or 〃musical。〃 A black coat is rare now at either of
these functions； or if seen is pretty sure to be on a back over fifty。 Next；
we lords of creation refused to call at all； or leave our cards。 A married
woman now leaves her husband's card with her own； and sisters leave the
〃pasteboard〃 of their brothers and often those of their brothers' friends。
Any combination is good enough to 〃shoot a card。〃
In London the men have gone a step further。 It is not uncommon to
hear a young man boast that he never owned a visiting card or made a
〃duty〃 call in his life。 Neither there nor with us does a man count as a
〃call〃 a quiet cup of tea with a woman he likes； and a cigarette and quiet
talk until dressing time。 Let the young women have courage and take
matters into their own hands。 （The older ones are hopeless and will go on
pushing this Juggernaut car over each other's weary bodies； until the end
of the chapter。） Let them have the courage occasionally to 〃refuse〃
something； to keep themselves free from aimless engagements； and bring
this paste… board war to a close。 If a woman is attractive； she will be asked
out all the same； never fear！ If she is not popular； the few dozen of 〃egg…
shell extra〃 that she can manage to slip in at the front doors of her
acquaintances will not help her much。
If this matter is； however； so vastly important in women's eyes； why
not adopt the continental and diplomatic custom and send cards by post or
otherwise？ There； if a new…comer dines out and meets twenty…five people
for the first time； cards must be left the next day at their twenty…five
respective residences。 How the cards get there is of no importance。 It is a
diplomatic fiction that the new acquaintance has called in person； and the
call will be returned within twenty…four hours。 Think of the saving of time
and strength！ In Paris； on New Year's Day； people send cards by post to
everybody they wish to keep up。 That does for a year； and no more is
thought about it。 All the time thus gained can be given to culture or
recreation。
I have often wondered why one sees so few women one knows at our
picture exhibitions or flower shows。 It is no longer a mystery to me。 They
are all busy trotting up and down our long side streets leaving cards。
Hideous vision！ Should Dante by any chance reincarnate； he would find
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here the material ready made to his hand for an eighth circle in his
INFERNO。
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CHAPTER 21 … 〃Like Master Like
Man。〃
A FREQUENT and naive complaint one hears； is of the
unsatisfactoriness of servants generally； and their ingratitude and
astonishing lack of affection for their masters； in particular。 〃After all I
have done for them；〃 is pretty sure to sum up the long tale of a housewife's
griefs。 Of all the delightful inconsistencies that grace the female mind； this
latter point of view