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down any fixed rules。 There must constantly occur situations where one's
acts must depend upon a kindly consideration for other people's feelings；
which after all； is only another name for tact。 Nothing so plainly shows the
breeding of a man or woman as skill in solving problems of this kind
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without giving offence。
Foreigners； with their greater knowledge of the world； rarely fall into
the error of indiscriminate introducing； appreciating what a presentation
means and what obligations it entails。 The English fall into exactly the
contrary error from ours； and carry it to absurd lengths。 Starting with the
assumption that everybody knows everybody； and being aware of the
general dread of meeting 〃detrimentals；〃 they avoid the difficulty by
making no introductions。 This may work well among themselves； but it is
trying to a stranger whom they have been good enough to ask to their
tables； to sit out the meal between two people who ignore his presence and
converse across him； for an Englishman will expire sooner than speak to a
person to whom he has not been introduced。
The French； with the marvellous tact that has for centuries made them
the law…givers on all subjects of etiquette and breeding； have another way
of avoiding useless introductions。 They assume that two people meeting in
a drawing…room belong to the same world and so chat pleasantly with
those around them。 On leaving the SALON the acquaintance is supposed
to end； and a gentleman who should at another time or place bow or speak
to the lady who had offered him a cup of tea and talked pleasantly to him
over it at a friend's reception； would commit a gross breach of etiquette。
I was once present at a large dinner given in Cologne to the American
Geographical Society。 No sooner was I seated than my two neighbors
turned towards me mentioning their names and waiting for me to do the
same。 After that the conversation flowed on as among friends。 This custom
struck me as exceedingly well…bred and calculated to make a foreigner feel
at his ease。
Among other curious types； there are people so constituted that they
are unhappy if a single person can be found in the room to whom they
have not been introduced。 It does not matter who the stranger may be or
what chance there is of finding him congenial。 They must be presented；
nothing else will content them。 If you are chatting with a friend you feel a
pull at your sleeve； and in an audible aside； they ask for an introduction。
The aspirant will then bring up and present the members of his family who
happen to be near。 After that he seems to be at ease； and having absolutely
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nothing to say will soon drift off。 Our public men suffer terribly from
promiscuous introductions； it is a part of a political career； a good memory
for names and faces and a cordial manner under fire have often gone a
long way in floating a statesman on to success。
Demand； we are told； creates supply。 During a short stay in a Florida
hotel last winter； I noticed a curious little man who looked like a cross
between a waiter and a musician。 As he spoke to me several times and
seemed very officious； I asked who he was。 The answer was so grotesque
that I could not believe my ears。 I was told that he held the position of
official 〃introducer；〃 or master of ceremonies； and that the guests under his
guidance became known to each other； danced； rode； and married to their
own and doubtless to his satisfaction。 The further west one goes the more
pronounced this mania becomes。 Everybody is introduced to everybody on
all imaginable occasions。 If a man asks you to take a drink； he presents
you to the bar…tender。 If he takes you for a drive； the cab…driver is
introduced。 〃Boots〃 makes you acquainted with the chambermaid； and the
hotel proprietor unites you in the bonds of friendship with the clerk at the
desk。 Intercourse with one's fellows becomes one long debauch of
introduction。 In this country where every liberty is respected； it is a
curious fact that we should be denied the most important of all rights； that
of choosing our acquaintances。
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CHAPTER 34 … A Question and an
Answer
DEAR IDLER：
I HAVE been reading your articles in The Evening Post。 They are
really most amusing！ You do know such a lot about people and things； that
I am tempted to write and ask you a question on a subject that is puzzling
me。 What is it that is necessary to succeed … socially？ There！ It is out！
Please do not laugh at me。 Such funny people get on and such clever；
agreeable ones fail； that I am all at sea。 Now do be nice and answer me；
and you will have a very grateful
ADMIRER。
The above note； in a rather juvenile feminine hand； and breathing a
faint perfume of VIOLETTE DE PARME； was part of the morning's mail
that I found lying on my desk a few days ago； in delightful contrast to the
bills and advertisements which formed the bulk of my correspondence。 It
would suppose a stoicism greater than I possess； not to have felt a thrill of
satisfaction in its perusal。 There was； then； some one who read with
pleasure what I wrote； and who had been moved to consult me on a
question （evidently to her） of importance。 I instantly decided to do my best
for the edification of my fair correspondent （for no doubt entered my head
that she was both young and fair）； the more readily because that very
question had frequently presented itself to my own mind on observing the
very capricious choice of Dame 〃Fashion〃 in the distribution of her favors。
That there are people who succeed brilliantly and move from success
to success； amid an applauding crowd of friends and admirers； while
others； apparently their superiors in every way； are distanced in the race； is
an undeniable fact。 You have but to glance around the circle of your
acquaintances and relations to be convinced of this anomaly。 To a
reflecting mind the question immediately presents itself； Why is this？
General society is certainly cultivated enough to appreciate intelligence
and superior endowments。 How then does it happen that the social
favorites are so often lacking in the qualities which at a first glance would
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seem indispensable to success？
Before going any further let us stop a moment； and look at the subject
from another side； for it is more serious than appears to be on the surface。
To be loved by those around us； to stand well in the world； is certainly the
most legitimate as well as the most common of ambitions； as well as the
incentive to most of the industry and perseverance in life。 Aside from
science； which is sometimes followed for itself alone； and virtue； which
we are told looks for no other reward； the hope which inspires a great deal
of the persistent efforts we see； is generally that of raising one's self and
those one loves by one's efforts into a sphere higher than where cruel fate
had placed them； that they； too； may take their place in the sunshine and
enjoy the good things of life。 This ambition is often purely disinterested； a
life of hardest toil is cheerfully borne； with the hope （for sole consolation）
that dear ones will profit later by all the work； and live in a circle the
patient toiler never dreams of entering。 Surely he is a stern moralist who
would deny this satisfaction to the breadwinner of a family。
There are doubtless many higher motives in life； more elevated goals
toward which struggling humanity should strive。 If you examine the