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purposes with our two patches at an early stage。 Everything grew
wrong from the first to last； and if my father's manures intensified
nothing else； they certainly intensified the Primordial Curse。 The
peas were eaten in the night before they were three inches high； the
beans bore nothing but blight； the only apparent result of a
spraying of the potatoes was to develop a PENCHANT in the cat for
being ill indoors； the cucumber frames were damaged by the
catapulting of boys going down the lane at the back； and all your
cucumbers were mysteriously embittered。 That lane with its
occasional passers…by did much to wreck the intensive scheme；
because my father always stopped work and went indoors if any one
watched him。 His special manure was apt to arouse a troublesome
spirit of inquiry in hardy natures。
In digging his rows and shaping his patches he neglected the guiding
string and trusted to his eye altogether too much； and the
consequent obliquity and the various wind…breaks and scare…crows he
erected； and particularly an irrigation contrivance he began and
never finished by which everything was to be watered at once by
means of pieces of gutter from the roof and outhouses of Number 2；
and a large and particularly obstinate clump of elder…bushes in the
abolished hedge that he had failed to destroy entirely either by axe
or by fire； combined to give the gardens under intensive culture a
singularly desolate and disorderly appearance。 He took steps
towards the diversion of our house drain under the influence of the
Sewage Utilisation Society； but happily he stopped in time。 He
hardly completed any of the operations he began； something else
became more urgent or simply he tired； a considerable area of the
Number 2 territory was never even dug up。
In the end the affair irritated him beyond endurance。 Never was a
man less horticulturally…minded。 The clamour of these vegetables he
had launched into the world for his service and assistance； wore out
his patience。 He would walk into the garden the happiest of men
after a day or so of disregard； talking to me of history perhaps or
social organisation； or summarising some book he had read。 He
talked to me of anything that interested him； regardless of my
limitations。 Then he would begin to note the growth of the weeds。
〃This won't do；〃 he would say and pull up a handful。
More weeding would follow and the talk would become fragmentary。
His hands would become earthy； his nails black； weeds would snap off
in his careless grip； leaving the roots behind。 The world would
darken。 He would look at his fingers with disgusted astonishment。
〃CURSE these weeds！〃 he would say from his heart。 His discourse was
at an end。
I have memories； too； of his sudden unexpected charges into the
tranquillity of the house； his hands and clothes intensively
enriched。 He would come in like a whirlwind。 〃This damned stuff
all over me and the Agricultural Chemistry Class at six！ Bah！
AAAAAAH！〃
My mother would never learn not to attempt to break him of swearing
on such occasions。 She would remain standing a little stiffly in
the scullery refusing to assist him to the adjectival towel he
sought。
〃If you say such things〃
He would dance with rage and hurl the soap about。 〃The towel！〃 he
would cry； flicking suds from big fingers in every direction； 〃the
towel！ I'll let the blithering class slide if you don't give me the
towel！ I'll give up everything； I tell youeverything！〃 。 。 。
At last with the failure of the lettuces came the breaking point。 I
was in the little arbour learning Latin irregular verbs when it
happened。 I can see him still； his peculiar tenor voice still
echoes in my brain； shouting his opinion of intensive culture for
all the world to hear； and slashing away at that abominable mockery
of a crop with a hoe。 We had tied them up with bast only a week or
so before； and now half were rotten and half had shot up into tall
slender growths。 He had the hoe in both hands and slogged。 Great
wipes he made； and at each stroke he said； 〃Take that！〃
The air was thick with flying fragments of abortive salad。 It was a
fantastic massacre。 It was the French Revolution of that cold
tyranny； the vindictive overthrow of the pampered vegetable
aristocrats。 After he had assuaged his passion upon them； he turned
for other prey； he kicked holes in two of our noblest marrows；
flicked off the heads of half a row of artichokes； and shied the hoe
with a splendid smash into the cucumber frame。 Something of the awe
of that moment returns to me as I write of it。
Well； my boy；〃 he said； approaching with an expression of beneficent
happiness； 〃I've done with gardening。 Let's go for a walk like
reasonable beings。 I've had enough of this〃his face was convulsed
for an instant with bitter resentment〃 Pandering to cabbages。〃
4
That afternoon's walk sticks in my memory for many reasons。 One is
that we went further than I had ever been before； far beyond Keston
and nearly to Seven…oaks； coming back by train from Dunton Green；
and the other is that my father as he went along talked about
himself； not so much to me as to himself； and about life and what he
had done with it。 He monologued so that at times he produced an
effect of weird world…forgetfulness。 I listened puzzled； and at
that time not upderstanding many things that afterwards became plain
to me。 It is only in recent years that I have discovered the pathos
of that monologue； how friendless my father was and uncompanioned in
his thoughts and feelings； and what a hunger he may have felt for
the sympathy of the undeveloped youngster who trotted by his side。
〃I'm no gardener；〃 he said； 〃I'm no anything。 Why the devil did I
start gardening？
〃I suppose man was created to mind a garden。 。 。 But the Fall let
us out of that！ What was I created for？ God！ what was I created
for？ 。 。 。
〃Slaves to matter！ Minding inanimate things！ It doesn't suit me；
you know。 I've got no hands and no patience。 I've mucked about
with life。 Mucked about with life。〃 He suddenly addressed himself
to me； and for an instant I started like an eavesdropper discovered。
〃Whatever you do； boy； whatever you do； make a Plan。 Make a good
Plan and stick to it。 Find out what life is aboutI never have
and set yourself to do whatever you ought to do。 I admit it's a
puzzle。 。 。 。
〃Those damned houses have been the curse of my life。 Stucco white
elephants！ Beastly cracked stucco with stains of greenblack and
green。 Conferva and soot。 。 。 。 Property； they are！ 。 。 。 Beware
of Things； Dick； beware of Things！ Before you know where you are
you are waiting on them and minding them。 They'll eat your life up。
Eat up your hours and your blood and energy！ When those houses came
to me； I ought to have sold themor fled the country。 I ought to
have cleared out。 Sarcophagieaters of men！ Oh！ the hours and
days of work； the nights of anxiety those vile houses have cost me！
The painting！ It worked up my arms； it got all over me。 I stank of
it。 It made me ill。 It isn't livingit's minding。 。 。 。
〃Property's the curse of life。 Property！ Ugh！ Look at this
country all cut up into silly little parallelograms； look at all
those villas we passed just now and those potato patches and that
tarred shanty and the hedge！ Somebody's minding every bit of it
like a dog tied to a cart's tail。 Patching it and bothering about
it。 Bothering！ Yapping at every passer…by。 Look at that notice…
board！ One rotten worried little beast wants to keep us other
rotten little beasts off HIS patch；God knows why！ Look at the
weeds in it。 Look at the mended fence！ 。 。 。 There's no property
worth having； Dick； but money。 That's only good to spend。 All
these things。 Human souls buried under a cartload of blithering
rubbish。 。 。 。
〃I'm not a fool； Dick。 I have qualities； imagination； a sort of go。
I ought to have made a better thing of life。
〃I'm sure I could have done things。 Only the old people pulled my
leg。 They started me wrong。 They never started me at all。 I only
began to find out what life was like when I was nearly forty。
〃If I'd gone to a university； if I'd had any sort of sound training；
if I hadn't slipped into the haphazard places that came easiest。 。 。 。
〃Nobody warned me。 Nobody。 It isn't a world we live in； Dick； it's
a cascade of accidents； it's a chaos exasperated by policemen！ YOU
be warned in time； Dick。 You stick to a plan。 Don't wait for any
one to show you the way。 Nobody will。 There isn't a way till you
make one。 Get education； get a good education。 Fight your way to
the top。 It's your only chance。 I've watched you。 You'll do no
good at digging and property minding。