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there was his wife； more than half drunk； screaming on the house…roof：
〃Weep； weep for Adonis！〃…while that infamous Mad Ox was bellowing away
on his side。…Do you not blush； you women； for your wild and uproarious
doings？
LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
But you don't know all their effrontery yet！ They abused and
insulted us； then soused us with the water in their water…pots； and
have set us wringing out our clothes； for all the world as if we had
bepissed ourselves。
MAGISTRATE
And well done too； by Posidon！ We men must share the blame of
their ill conduct； it is we who teach them to love riot and
dissoluteness and sow the seeds of wickedness in their hearts。 You see
a husband go into a shop： 〃Look you； jeweller；〃 says he； 〃you remember
the necklace you made for my wife。 Well； the other evening； when she
was dancing； the catch came open。 Now； I am bound to start for
Salamis； will you make it convenient to go up to…night to make her
fastening secure？〃 Another will go to the cobbler； a great； strong
fellow； with a great； long tool； and tell him： 〃The strap of one of my
wife's sandals presses her little toe； which is extremely sensitive；
come in about midday to supple the thing and stretch it。〃 Now see
the results。 Take my own case…as a Magistrate I have enlisted
rowers； I want money to pay them； and the women slam the door in my
face。 But why do we stand here with arms crossed？ Bring me a
crowbar； I'll chastise their insolence！…Ho！ there； my fine fellow！
（to one of the Scythians） what are； you gaping at the crows for？
looking for a tavern； I suppose； eh？ Come on； bring crowbars here； and
force open the gates。 I will put a hand to the work myself。
LYSISTRATA （opening the gate and walking out）
No need to force the gates； I am coming out…here I am。 And why
bolts and bars？ What we want here is not bolts and bars and locks； but
common sense。
MAGISTRATE （jumping nervously； then striving manfully to regain his
dignity）
Really； my fine lady！ Where is my officer？ I want him to tie
that woman's hands behind her back。
LYSISTRATA
By Artemis； the virgin goddess！ if he touches me with the tip of
his finger； officer of the public peace though he be； let him look out
for himself！
（The first Scythian defecates in terror。）
MAGISTRATE （to another officer）
How now； are you afraid？ Seize her； I tell you； round the body。
Two of you at her； and have done with it！
CLEONICE
By Pandrosos！ if you lay a hand on her； Ill trample you
underfoot till the crap comes out of you！
（The second Scythian defecates in terror。）
MAGISTRATE
Look at the mess you've made！ Where is there another officer？ （To
the third Scythian） Bind that minx first； the one who speaks so
prettily！
MYRRHINE
By Phoebe； if you touch her with one finger； you'd better call
quick for a surgeon！
（The third Scythian defecates in terror。）
MAGISTRATE
What's that？ Where's the officer？ （To the fourth Scythian） Lay
hold of her。 Oh！ but I'm going to stop your foolishness for you all
CLEONICE
By the Tauric Artemis； if you go near her； I'll pull out your
hair； scream as you like。
（The fourth Scythian defecates in terror。）
MAGISTRATE
Ah！ miserable man that I am！ My own officers desert me。 What ho！
are we to let ourselves be bested by a mob of women？ Ho！ Scythians
mine； close up your ranks； and forward！
LYSISTRATA
By the holy goddesses！ you'll have to make acquaintance with
four companies of women； ready for the fray and well armed to boot。
MAGISTRATE
Forward； Scythians； and bind them！
（The Scythians advance reluctantly。）
LYSISTRATA
Forward； my gallant companions； march forth； ye vendors of grain
and eggs； garlic and vegetables； keepers of taverns and bakeries；
wrench and strike and tear； come； a torrent of invective and insult！
（They beat the Scythians who retire in haste。） Enough； enough now
retire； never rob the vanquished！
（The women withdraw。）
MAGISTRATE
How unfortunate for my officers！
LYSISTRATA
Ah； ha！ so you thought you had only to do with a set of
slave…women！ you did not know the ardour that fills the bosom of
free…born dames。
MAGISTRATE
Ardour！ yes； by Apollo； ardour enough…especially for the wine…cup！
LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
Sir； sir what good are words？ they are of no avail with wild
beasts of this sort。 Don't you know how they have just washed us
down…and with no very fragrant soap！
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
What would you have？ You should never have laid rash hands on
us。 If you start afresh； I'll knock your eyes out。 My delight is to
stay at home as coy as a young maid； without hurting anybody or moving
any more than a milestone； but 'ware the wasps； if you go stirring
up the wasps' nest！
CHORUS OF OLD MEN （singing）
Ah！ great gods！ how get the better of these ferocious creatures？
'tis past all bearing！ But come； let us try to find out the reason
of the dreadful scourge。 With what end in view have they seized the
citadel of Cranaus； the sacred shrine that is raised upon the
inaccessible rock of the Acropolis？
LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN （to the MAGISTRATE）
Question them； be cautious and not too credulous。 It would be
culpable negligence not to pierce the mystery； if we may。
MAGISTRATE （addressing the women）
I would ask you first why you have barred our gates。
LYSISTRATA
To seize the treasury； no more money； no more war。
MAGISTRATE
Then money is the cause of the war？
LYSISTRATA
And of all our troubles。 It was to find occasion to steal that
Pisander and all the other agitators were forever raising revolutions。
Well and good！ but they'll never get another drachma here。
MAGISTRATE
What do you propose to do then； pray？
LYSISTRATA
You ask me that！ Why； we propose to administer the treasury
ourselves。
MAGISTRATE
You do？
LYSISTRATA
What is there in that to surprise you？ Do we not administer the
budget of household expenses？
MAGISTRATE
But that is not the same thing。
LYSISTRATA
How so…not the same thing？
MAGISTRATE
It is the treasury supplies the expenses of the war。
LYSISTRATA
That's our first principle…no war！
MAGISTRATE
What！ and the safety of the city？
LYSISTRATA
We will provide for that。
MAGISTRATE
You？
LYSISTRATA
Yes； we！
MAGISTRATE
What a sorry business！
LYSISTRATA
Yes； we're going to save you； whether you like it or not。
MAGISTRATE
Oh！ the impudence of the creatures！
LYSISTRATA
You seem annoyed！ but it has to be done； nevertheless。
MAGISTRATE
But it's the very height of iniquity！
LYSISTRATA （testily）
We're going to save you； my good man。
MAGISTRATE
But if I don't want to be saved？
LYSISTRATA
Why； all the more reason！
MAGISTRATE
But what a notion； to concern yourselves with questions of peace
and war！
LYSISTRATA
We will explain our idea。
MAGISTRATE
Out with it then； quick； or。。。 （threatening her）。
LYSISTRATA （sternly）
Listen； and never a movement； please！
MAGISTRATE （in impotent rage）
Oh！ it is too much for me！ I cannot keep my temper！
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Then look out for yourself； you have more to fear than we have。
MAGISTRATE
Stop your croaking； you old crow！ （To LYSISTRATA） Now you； say
what you have to say。
LYSISTRATA
Willingly。 All the long time the war has lasted； we have endured
in modest silence all you men did； you never allowed us to open our
lips。 We were far from satisfied； for we knew how things were going；
often in our homes we would hear you discussing； upside down and
inside out； some important turn of affairs。 Then with sad hearts；
but smiling lips； we would ask you： Well； in today's Assembly did they
vote peace？…But； 〃Mind your own business！〃 the husband would growl；
〃Hold your tongue； please！〃 And we would say no more。
CLEONICE
I would not have held my tongue though； not I！
MAGISTRATE
You would have been reduced to silence by blows then。
LYSISTRATA
Well； for my part； I would say no more。 But presently I would come
to know you had arrived at some fresh decision more fatally foolish