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handsome maiden； they put a necklace of dried figs about my neck；
and I was one of the Canephori。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
So surely I am bound to give my best advice to Athens。 What
matters that I was born a woman； if I can cure your misfortunes？ I pay
my share of tolls and taxes； by giving men to the State。 But you；
you miserable greybeards； you contribute nothing to the public
charges； on the contrary； you have wasted the treasure of our
forefathers； as it was called； the treasure amassed in the days of the
Persian Wars。 You pay nothing at all in return； and into the bargain
you endanger our lives and liberties by your mistakes。 Have you one
word to say for yourselves？。。。 Ah！ don't irritate me； you there； or
I'll lay my slipper across your jaws； and it's pretty heavy。
CHORUS OF OLD MEN （singing）
Outrage upon outrage！ things are going from bad to worse。 Let us
punish the minxes； every one of us that has balls to boast of。 Come；
off with our tunics； for a man must savour of manhood； come； my
friends； let us strip naked from head to foot。 Courage； I say； we
who in our day garrisoned Lipsydrion； let us be young again； and shake
off eld。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF OLD MEN
If we give them the least hold over us； that's the end！ their
audacity will know no bounds！ We shall see them building ships； and
fighting sea…fights； like Artemisia； and； if they want to mount and
ride as cavalry； we had best cashier the knights； for indeed women
excel in riding； and have a fine。 firm seat for the gallop。 Just think
of all those squadrons of Amazons Micon has painted for us engaged
in hand…to…hand combat with men。 Come then； we must now fit collars to
all these willing necks。
CHORUS OF WOMEN （singing）
By the blessed goddesses； if you anger me； I will let loose the
beast of my evil passions； and a very hailstorm of blows will set
you yelling for help。 Come； dames； off with your tunics； and quick's
the word； women must smell the smell of women in the throes of
passion。。。。 Now just you dare to measure strength with me； old
greybeard； and I warrant you you'll never eat garlic or black beans
any more。 No； not a word！ my anger is at boiling point； and I'll do
with you what the beetle did with the eagle's eggs。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
I laugh at your threats； so long as I have on my side Lampito
here； and the noble Theban； my dear Ismenia。。。。 Pass decree on decree；
you can do us no hurt； you wretch abhorred of all your fellows。 Why；
only yesterday； on occasion of the feast of Hecate； I asked my
neighbours of Boeotia for one of their daughters for whom my girls
have a lively liking …a fine； fat eel to wit； and if they did not
refuse； all along of your silly decrees！ We shall never cease to
suffer the like； till some one gives you a neat trip…up and breaks
your neck for you！ （To LYSISTRATA as she comes out from the
Acropolis） You； Lysistrata； you who are leader of our glorious
enterprise； why do I see you coming towards me with so gloomy an air？
LYSISTRATA
It's the behaviour of these naughty women； it's the female heart
and female weakness that so discourage me。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Tell us； tell us； what is it？
LYSISTRATA
I only tell the simple truth。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
What has happened so disconcerting？ Come； tell your friends。
LYSISTRATA
Oh！ the thing is so hard to tell…yet so impossible to conceal。
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Never seek to hide any ill that has befallen our cause。
LYSISTRATA
To blurt it out in a word…we want laying！
LEADER OF CHORUS OF WOMEN
Oh！ Zeus； oh！ Zeus！
LYSISTRATA
What use calling upon Zeus？ The thing is even as I say。 I cannot
stop them any longer from lusting after the men。 They are all for
deserting。 The first I caught was slipping out by the postern gate
near the cave of Pan； another was letting herself down by a rope and
pulley； a third was busy preparing her escape； while a fourth； perched
on a bird's back； was just taking wing for Orsilochus' house； when I
seized her by the hair。 One and all； they are inventing excuses to
be off home。 （Pointing to the gate） Look！ there goes one； trying
to get out！ Halloa there！ whither away so fast？
FIRST WOMAN
I want to go home； I have some Milesian wool in the house； which
is getting all eaten up by the worms。
LYSISTRATA
Bah！ you and your worms！ go back； I say！
FIRST WOMAN
I will return immediately； I swear I will by the two goddesses！
I only have just to spread it out on the bed。
LYSISTRATA
You shall not do anything of the kind！ I say； you shall not go。
FIRST WOMAN
Must I leave my wool to spoil then？
LYSISTRATA
Yes； if need be。
SECOND WOMAN
Unhappy woman that I am！ Alas for my flax！ I've left it at home
unstript！
LYSISTRATA
So； here's another trying to escape to go home and strip her flax！
SECOND WOMAN
Oh！ I swear by the goddess of light； the instant I have put it
in condition I will come straight back。
LYSISTRATA
You shall do nothing of the kind！ If once you began； others
would want to follow suit。
THIRD WOMAN
Oh！ goddess divine； Ilithyia； patroness of women in labour；
stay； stay the birth； till I have reached a spot less hallowed than
Athene's mount！
LYSISTRATA
What mean you by these silly tales？
THIRD WOMAN
I am going to have a child…now； this minute！
LYSISTRATA
But you were not pregnant yesterday！
THIRD WOMAN
Well； I am to…day。 Oh！ let me go in search of the midwife；
Lysistrata； quick； quick！
LYSISTRATA
What is this fable you are telling me？ （Feeling her stomach） Ah！
what have you got there so hard？
THIRD WOMAN
A male child。
LYSISTRATA
No； no； by Aphrodite！ nothing of the sort！ Why； it feels like
something hollow…a pot or a kettle。 （Opening her robe） Oh！ you silly
creature； if you have not got the sacred helmet of Pallas…and you said
you were with child！
THIRD WOMAN
And so I am； by Zeus； I am！
LYSISTRATA
Then why this helmet； pray？
THIRD WOMAN
For fear my pains should seize me in the Acropolis； I mean to
lay my eggs in this helmet； as the doves do。
LYSISTRATA
Excuses and pretences every word！ the thing's as clear as
daylight。 Anyway； you must stay here now till the fifth day； your
day of purification。
THIRD WOMAN
I cannot sleep any more in the Acropolis； now I have seen the
snake that guards the temple。
FOURTH WOMAN
Ah！ and those awful owls with their dismal hooting！ I cannot get a
wink of rest； and I'm just dying of fatigue。
LYSISTRATA
You wicked women； have done with your falsehoods！ You want your
husbands； that's plain enough。 But don't you think they want you
just as badly？ They are spending dreadful nights； oh！ I know that well
enough。 But hold out； my dears； hold out！ A little more patience；
and the victory will be ours。 An oracle promises us success； if only
we remain united。 Shall I repeat the words？
THIRD WOMAN
Yes； tell us what the oracle declares。
LYSISTRATA
Silence then！ Now…〃Whenas the swallows； fleeing before the
hoopoes； shall have all flocked together in one place； and shall
refrain them from all amorous commerce； then will be the end of all
the ills of life； yea； and Zeus； who doth thunder in the skies；
shall set above what was erst below。。。。〃
THIRD WOMAN
What！ shall the men be underneath？
LYSISTRATA
〃But if dissension do arise among the swallows； and they take wing
from the holy temple； it will be said there is never a more wanton
bird in all the world。〃
THIRD WOMAN
Ye gods！ the prophecy is clear。
LYSISTRATA
Nay； never let us be cast down by calamity！ let us be brave to
bear； and go back to our posts。 It would be shameful indeed not to
trust the promises of the oracle。
（They all go back into the Acropolis。）
CHORUS OF OLD MEN （singing）
I want to tell you a fable they used to relate to me when I was
a little boy。 This is it： Once upon a time there was a young man
called Melanion； who hated the thought of marriage so sorely that he
fled away to the wilds。 So he dwelt in the mountains； wove himself
nets； and caught hares。 He never； never came back； he had such a
horror of women。 As chaste as Melanion； we loathe the jades just as
much as he did。
AN OLD MAN （beginning a brief duet with one of the women）
You dear old woman； I would fain kiss you。
WOMAN
I