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have been。 You see； I come into my money next year。〃
Tears came into her mother's eyes。
Driven by nameless bewilderment； by what is in older people
termed 〃eccentricity；〃 Lucy determined to make this point clear。
〃I've seen the world so littleI felt so out of things in Italy。
I have seen so little of life； one ought to come up to London
morenot a cheap ticket like to…day； but to stop。 I might even
share a flat for a little with some other girl。〃
〃And mess with typewriters and latch…keys；〃 exploded Mrs。
Honeychurch。 〃And agitate and scream； and be carried off kicking
by the police。 And call it a Missionwhen no one wants you！ And
call it Dutywhen it means that you can't stand your own home！
And call it Workwhen thousands of men are starving with the
competition as it is！ And then to prepare yourself； find two
doddering old ladies； and go abroad with them。〃
〃I want more independence；〃 said Lucy lamely； she knew that she
wanted something； and independence is a useful cry； we can always
say that we have not got it。 She tried to remember her emotions
in Florence： those had been sincere and passionate； and had
suggested beauty rather than short skirts and latch…keys。 But
independence was certainly her cue。
〃Very well。 Take your independence and be gone。 Rush up and down
and round the world； and come back as thin as a lath with the bad
food。 Despise the house that your father built and the garden
that he planted； and our dear viewand then share a flat with
another girl。〃
Lucy screwed up her mouth and said： 〃Perhaps I spoke hastily。〃
〃Oh； goodness！〃 her mother flashed。 〃How you do remind me of
Charlotte Bartlett！〃
〃Charlotte！〃 flashed Lucy in her turn； pierced at last by a vivid
pain。
〃More every moment。〃
〃I don't know what you mean； mother； Charlotte and I are not the
very least alike。〃
〃Well； I see the likeness。 The same eternal worrying； the same
taking back of words。 You and Charlotte trying to divide two
apples among three people last night might be sisters。〃
〃What rubbish！ And if you dislike Charlotte so； it's rather a
pity you asked her to stop。 I warned you about her； I begged you；
implored you not to； but of course it was not listened to。〃
〃There you go。〃
〃I beg your pardon？〃
〃Charlotte again； my dear； that's all； her very words。〃
Lucy clenched her teeth。 〃My point is that you oughtn't to have
asked Charlotte to stop。 I wish you would keep to the point。〃 And
the conversation died off into a wrangle。
She and her mother shopped in silence； spoke little in the train；
little again in the carriage； which met them at Dorking Station。
It had poured all day and as they ascended through the deep
Surrey lanes showers of water fell from the over…hanging
beech…trees and rattled on the hood。 Lucy complained that the
hood was stuffy。 Leaning forward； she looked out into the
steaming dusk； and watched the carriage…lamp pass like a
search…light over mud and leaves； and reveal nothing beautiful。
〃The crush when Charlotte gets in will be abominable；〃 she
remarked。 For they were to pick up Miss Bartlett at Summer
Street； where she had been dropped as the carriage went down； to
pay a call on Mr。 Beebe's old mother。 〃We shall have to sit three
a side； because the trees drop； and yet it isn't raining。 Oh； for
a little air！〃 Then she listened to the horse's hoofs〃He has
not toldhe has not told。〃 That melody was blurred by the soft
road。 〃CAN'T we have the hood down？〃 she demanded； and her mother；
with sudden tenderness； said： 〃Very well； old lady； stop the
horse。〃 And the horse was stopped； and Lucy and Powell wrestled
with the hood； and squirted water down Mrs。 Honeychurch's neck。
But now that the hood was down； she did see something that she
would have missedthere were no lights in the windows of Cissie
Villa； and round the garden gate she fancied she saw a padlock。
〃Is that house to let again； Powell？〃 she called。
〃Yes； miss；〃 he replied。
〃Have they gone？〃
〃It is too far out of town for the young gentleman； and his
father's rheumatism has come on； so he can't stop on alone； so
they are trying to let furnished；〃 was the answer。
〃They have gone； then？〃
〃Yes； miss； they have gone。〃
Lucy sank back。 The carriage stopped at the Rectory。 She got out
to call for Miss Bartlett。 So the Emersons had gone； and all this
bother about Greece had been unnecessary。 Waste！ That word seemed
to sum up the whole of life。 Wasted plans； wasted money； wasted
love； and she had wounded her mother。 Was it possible that she
had muddled things away？ Quite possible。 Other people had。 When
the maid opened the door； she was unable to speak； and stared
stupidly into the hall。
Miss Bartlett at once came forward； and after a long preamble
asked a great favour： might she go to church？ Mr。 Beebe and his
mother had already gone； but she had refused to start until she
obtained her hostess's full sanction； for it would mean keeping
the horse waiting a good ten minutes more。
〃Certainly；〃 said the hostess wearily。 〃I forgot it was Friday。
Let's all go。 Powell can go round to the stables。〃
〃Lucy dearest〃
〃No church for me； thank you。〃
A sigh； and they departed。 The church was invisible； but up in
the darkness to the left there was a hint of colour。 This was a
stained window； through which some feeble light was shining； and
when the door opened Lucy heard Mr。 Beebe's voice running through
the litany to a minute congregation。 Even their church； built
upon the slope of the hill so artfully； with its beautiful raised
transept and its spire of silvery shingleeven their church had
lost its charm； and the thing one never talked aboutreligion
was fading like all the other things。
She followed the maid into the Rectory。
Would she object to sitting in Mr。 Beebe's study？ There was only
that one fire。
She would not object。
Some one was there already； for Lucy heard the words： 〃A lady to
wait； sir。〃
Old Mr。 Emerson was sitting by the fire； with his foot upon a
gout…stool。
〃Oh； Miss Honeychurch； that you should come！〃 he quavered； and
Lucy saw an alteration in him since last Sunday。
Not a word would come to her lips。 George she had faced； and
could have faced again； but she had forgotten how to treat his
father。
〃Miss Honeychurch； dear； we are so sorry！ George is so sorry！ He
thought he had a right to try。 I cannot blame my boy； and yet I
wish he had told me first。 He ought not to have tried。 I knew
nothing about it at all。〃
If only she could remember how to behave！
He held up his hand。 〃But you must not scold him。〃
Lucy turned her back； and began to look at Mr。 Beebe's books。
〃I taught him；〃 he quavered； 〃to trust in love。 I said： 'When
love comes； that is reality。' I said： 'Passion does not blind。
No。 Passion is sanity； and the woman you love； she is the only
person you will ever really understand。'〃 He sighed： 〃True；
everlastingly true； though my day is over； and though there is
the result。 Poor boy！ He is so sorry！ He said he knew it was
madness when you brought your cousin in； that whatever you felt
you did not mean。 Yet〃his voice gathered strength： he spoke
out to make certain〃Miss Honeychurch； do you remember Italy？〃
Lucy selected a booka volume of Old Testament commentaries。
Holding it up to her eyes； she said： 〃I have no wish to discuss
Italy or any subject connected with your son。〃
〃But you do remember it？〃
〃He has misbehaved himself from the first。〃
〃I only was told that he loved you last Sunday。 I never could
judge behaviour。 IIsuppose he has。〃
Feeling a little steadier； she put the book back and turned round
to him。 His face was drooping and swollen； but his eyes； though
they were sunken deep； gleamed with a child's courage。
〃Why； he has behaved abominably；〃 she said。 〃I am glad he is
sorry。 Do you know what he did？〃
〃Not 'abominably；'〃 was the gentle correction。 〃He only tried
when he should not have tried。 You have all you want； Miss
Honeychurch： you are going to marry the man you love。 Do not go
out of George's life saying he is abominable。〃
〃No； of course；〃 said Lucy； ashamed at the reference to Cecil。
〃'Abominable' is much too strong。 I am sorry I used it about your
son。 I think I will go to church； after all。 My mother and my
cousin have gone。 I shall not be so very late〃
〃Especially as he has gone under；〃 he said quietly。
〃What was that？〃
〃Gone under naturally。〃 He beat his palms together in silence；
his head fell on his chest。
〃I don't understand。〃
〃As his mother did。〃
〃But； Mr。 EmersonMR。 EMERSONwhat are you talking about？〃
〃When I wouldn't have George baptized；〃 said he。
Lucy was frightened。
〃And she agreed that baptism was nothing； but he caught that
fever when he was twelve and she turn