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yours； anne
www銆偂 o m
JULY； 1943
銆傚皬锛胯锛縯xt澶╁爞
sunday； july 11； 1943
dear kitty；
to get back to the subject of child…rearing （for the umpteenth time）； let me tell you that im doing my best to be helpful； friendly and kind and to do all i can to keep the rain of rebukes down to a light drizzle。 its not easy trying to behave like a model child with people you cant stand； especially when you dont mean a word of it。 but i can see that a little hypocrisy gets me a lot further than myoid method of saying exactly what i think （even though no one ever asks my opinion or cares one way or another）。 of course； i often forget my role and find it impossible to curb my anger when theyre unfair； so that they spend the next month saying the most impertinent girl in the world。 dont you think im to be pitied sometimes？ its a good thing im not the grouchy type； because then i might bee sour and bad…tempered。 i can usually see the humorous side of their scoldings； but its easier when somebody else is being raked over the coals。
further； ive decided （after a great deal of thought） to drop the shorthand。 first； so that i have more time for my other subjects； and second； because of my eyes。 thats a sad story。 ive bee very nearsighted and should have had glasses ages ago。
（ugh； wont i look like a dope！）。 but as you know； people in hiding cant。 。 。
yesterday all anyone here could talk about was annes eyes； because mother had suggested i go to the ophthalmologist with mrs。 kleiman。 just hearing this made my
knees weak； since its no small matter。 going outside！ just think of it； walking down the street！ i cant imagine it。 i was petrified at first； and then glad。 but its not as simple as all that； the various authorities who had to approve such a step were unable to reach a quick decision。 they first had to carefully weigh all the difficulties and risks； though miep was ready to set off immediately with me in tow。 in the meantime； id taken my gray coat from the closet； but it was so small it looked as if it might have belonged to my little sister。 we lowered the hem； but i still couldnt button it。
im really curious to see what they decide； only i dont think theyll ever work out a plan； because the british have landed in sicily and fathers all set for a 〃quick finish。鈥�
beps been giving margot and me a lot of office work to do。 it makes us both feel important； and its a big help to her。 anyone can file letters and make entries in a sales book； but we do it with remarkable accuracy。
miep has so much to carry she looks like a pack mule。 she goes forth nearly every day to scrounge up vegetables； and then bicycles back with her purchases in large shopping bags。 shes also the one who brings five library books with her every saturday。 we long for saturdays because that means books。 were like a bunch of little kids with a present。 ordinary people dont know how much books can mean to someone whos cooped up。
our only diversions are reading； studying and listening to the radio。
yours； anne
tuesday； july 13； 1943
the best little table yesterday afternoon father gave me permission to ask mr。 dussel whether he would please be so good as to allow me （see how polite i am？） to use the table in our room two afternoons a week； from four to five…thirty。 i already sit there every day from two…thirty to four while dussel takes a nap； but the rest of the time the room and the table are off…limits to me。 its impossible to study next door in the afternoon； because theres too much going on。 besides； father sometimes likes to sit at the desk during the afternoon。
so it seemed like a reasonable request； and i asked dussel very politely。 what do you think the learned gentlemans reply was？ 〃no。〃 just plain 〃no！鈥�
i was incensed and wasnt about to let myself be put off like that。 i asked him the
reason for his 〃no；〃 but this didnt get me anywhere。 the gist of his reply was： 〃i have to study too； you know； and if i cant do that in the afternoons； i wont be able to fit it in at all。 i have to finish the task ive set for myself； otherwise； theres no point in starting。 besides； you arent serious about your studies。 mythology what kind of work is that？ reading and knitting dont count either。 i use that table and im not going to give it up！鈥�
i replied； 〃mr。 dussel； i do take my wsork seriously。 i cant study next door in the afternoons； and i would appreciate it if you would reconsider my request！鈥�
having said these words； the insulted anne turned around and pretended the learned doctor wasnt there。 i was seething with rage and felt that dussel had been incredibly rude （which he certainly had been） and that id been very polite。
that evening； when i managed to get hold of pim； i told him what had happened and we discussed what my next step should be； because i had no intention of giving up and preferred to deal with the matter myself。 pim gave me a rough idea of how to approach dussel； but cautioned me to wait until the next day； since i was in such a flap。 i ignored this last piece of advice and waited for dussel after the dishes had been done。 pim was sitting next door and that had a calming effect。
i began； 〃mr。 dussel； you seem to believe further discussion of the matter is pointless； but i beg you to reconsider。鈥�
dussel gave me his most charming smile and said； 〃im always prepared to discuss the matter； even though its already been settled。鈥�
i went on talking； despite dussels repeated interruptions。 when you first came here；鈥�
i said； 〃we agreed that the room was to be shared by the two of us。 if we were to divide it fairly； youd have the entire morning and id have the entire afternoon！ im not asking for that much； but two afternoons a week does seem reasonable to me。鈥�
dussel leapt out of his chair as if hed sat on a pin。 〃you have no business talking about your rights to the room。 where am i supposed to go？ maybe i should ask mr。
van daan to build me a cubbyhole in the attic。 youre not the only one who cant find a quiet place to work。 youre always looking for a fight。 if your sister margot； who has more right to work space than you do； had e to me with the same request； id never even have thought of refusing； but you。 。 。鈥�
and once again he brought up the business about the mythology and the knitting； and once again anne was insulted。 however； i showed no sign of it and let dussel finish：
〃but no； its impossible to talk to you。 youre shamefully self…centered。 no one else matters； as long as you get your way。 ive never seen such a child。 but after all is said and done； ill be obliged to let you have your way； since i dont want people saying later on that anne frank failed her exams because mr。 dussel refused to relinquish his table！鈥�
he went on and on until there was such a deluge of words i could hardly keep up。
for one fleeting moment i thought； 〃him and his lies。 ill smack his ugly mug so hard hell go bouncing off the wall！〃 but the next moment i thought； 〃calm down； hes not worth getting so upset about！鈥�
at long last mr。 dussel s fury was spent； and he left the room with an expression of triumph mixed with wrath； his coat pockets bulging with food。
i went running over to father and recounted the entire story； or at least those parts he hadnt been able to follow himself。 rim decided to talk to dussel that very same evening； and they spoke for more than half an hour。
they first discussed whether anne should be allowed to use the table； yes or no。
father said that he and dussel had dealt with the subject once before； at which time hed professed to agree with dussel because he didnt want to contradict the elder in front of the younger； but that； even then； he hadnt thought it was fair。 dussel felt i had no right to talk as if he were an intruder laying claim to everything in sight。 but father protested strongly； since he himself had heard me say nothing of the kind。 and so the conversation went back and forth； with father defending my 〃selfishness〃 and my 〃busywork〃 and dussel grumbling the whole time。
dussel finally had to give in； and i was granted the opportunity to work without interruption two afternoons a week。 dussel looked very sullen； didnt speak to me for two days and made sure he occupied the table from five to five…thirty all very childish； of course。
anyone whos so petty and pedantic at the age of fifty…four was born that way and is never going to change。
friday； july 16； 1943
dearest kitty；
theres been another break…in； but this time a real one！ peter went down to the warehouse this morning at seven； as usual； and noticed at once that both the
warehouse door and the street door were open。 he immediately reported this to pim； who went to the private office； tuned the radio to a german station and locked the door。 then they both went back upstairs。 in such cases our orders are not to wash ourselves or run any water； to be quiet； to be dressed by eight and not to go to the bathroom；〃 and as usual we followed these to the letter。 we were all glad wed slept so well and hadnt heard anything。 for a while we were indignant because no one from the office came upstairs the entire morning； mr。 kleiman left us on tenterhooks until