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s every evening when he gets his good…night kiss； and then begs for another one。 am i merely a better substitute for boche？ i dont mind。 hes so happy just knowing somebody loves him。
after my laborious conquest； ive distanced myself a little from the situation； but you mustnt think my love has cooled。 peters a sweetheart； but ive slammed the door to my inner self； if he ever wants to force the lock again； hell have to use a harder crowbar！
yours； anne
m。 frank
saturday； may 20； 1944
dearest kitty；
last night when i came down from the attic； i noticed； the moment i entered the room； that the lovely vase of carnations had fallen over。 mother was down on her hands and knees mopping up the water and margot was fishing my papers off the floor。 〃what happened？〃 i asked with anxious foreboding； and before they could reply； i assessed the damage from across the room。 my entire genealogy file； my notebooks； my books； everything was afloat。 i nearly cried； and i was so upset i started speaking german。 i cant remember a word； but according to margot i babbled something about 〃unlioersehbarer schaden； schrecklich； entsetzlich； nie zu ersetzen〃* ＇* incalculable loss； terrible； awful； irreplaceable。＇ and much more。 fadier burst out laughing and modier and margot joined in； but i felt like crying because all my work and elaborate notes were lost。
i took a closer look and； luckily； die 〃incalculable loss〃 wasnt as bad as id expected。
up in die attic i carefully peeled apart die sheets of paper diat were stuck togedier and dien hung diem on die clodiesline to dry。 it was such a funny sight； even i had to laugh。 maria de medici alongside charles v； william of orange and marie antoinette。
〃its rassenschande；〃* mr。 van daan joked。 ＇an affront to racial purity。＇ after entrusting my papers to peters care； i went back downstairs。
〃which books are ruined？〃 i asked margot； who was going dirough them。
〃algebra；〃 margot said。
but as luck would have it； my algebra book wasnt entirely ruined。 i wish it had fallen right in the vase。 ive never loathed any book as much as that one。 inside the front cover are the names of at least twenty girls who had it before i did。 its old； yellowed； full of scribbles； crossed…out words and revisions。 the next time im in a wicked mood； im going to tear the darned thing to pieces！
yours； anne
m。 frank
monday； may 22；1944
dearest kitty；
on may 20； father lost his bet and had to give five jars of yogurt to mrs。 van daan：
the invasion still hasnt begun。 i can safely say that all of amsterdam； all of holland； in fact the entire western coast of europe； all the way down to spain； are talking about the invasion day and night； debating； making bets and 。 。 。 hoping。
the suspense is rising to fever pitch； by no means has everyone we think of as 〃good〃 dutch people kept their faith in the english； not everyone thinks the english bluff is a masterful strategical move。 oh no； people want deeds…great； heroic deeds。
no one can see farther than the end of their nose； no one gives a thought to the fact that the british are fighting for their own country and their own people； everyone thinks its englands duty to save holland； as quickly as possible。 what obligations do the english have toward us？ what have the dutch done to deserve the generous help they so clearly expect？ oh no； the dutch are very much mistaken。 the english； despite their bluff； are certainly no more to blame for the war than all the other countries； large and small； that are now occupied by the germans。 the british are not about to offer their excuses； true； they were sleeping during the years germany was rearming itself； but all the other countries； especially those bordering on germany； were asleep too。 england and the rest of the world have discovered that burying your head in the sand doesnt work； and now each of them； especially england； is having to pay a heavy price for its ostrich policy。
no country sacrifices its men without reason； and certainly not in the interests of another； and england is no exception。 the invasion； liberation and freedom will e someday； yet england； not the occupied territories； will choose the moment。
to our great sorrow and dismay； weve heard that many people have changed their attitude toward us jews。 weve been told that anti…semitism has cropped up in circles where once it would have been unthinkable。 this fact has affected us all very； very deeply。 the reason for the hatred is understandable； maybe even human； but that doesnt make it right。 according to the christians； the jews are blabbing their secrets to the germans； denouncing their helpers and causing them to suffer the dreadful fate and punishments that have already been meted out to so many。 all of this is true。 but as with everything； they should look at the matter from both sides： would christians act any differently if they were in our place？ could anyone； regardless of whether theyre jews or christians； remain silent in the face of german pressure？ everyone knows its practically impossible； so why do they ask the impossible of the jews？
its being said in underground circles that the german jews who immigrated to holland before the war and have now been sent to poland shouldnt be allowed to return here。
they were granted the right to asylum in holland； but once hitler is gone； they should go back to germany。
when you hear that； you begin to wonder why were fighting this long and difficult war。 were always being told that were fighting for freedom； truth and justice！ the
war isnt even over； and already theres dissension and jews are regarded as lesser beings。 oh； its sad； very sad that the old adage has been confirmed for the umpteenth time： 〃what one christian does is his own responsibthty； what one jew does reflects on all jews。鈥�
to be honest； i cant understand how the dutch； a nation of good； honest； upright people； can sit in judgment on us the way they do。 on us…the most oppressed； unfortunate and pitiable people in all the world。
i have only one hope： that this anti…semitism is just a passing thing； that the dutch will show their true colors； that theyll never waver from what they know in their hearts to be just； for this is unjust！
and if they ever carry out this terrible threat； the meager handful of jews still left in holland will have to go。 we too will have to shoulder our bundles and move on； away from this beautiful country； which once so kindly took us in and now turns its back on us。
i love holland。 once i hoped it would bee a fatherland to me； since i had lost my own。 and i hope so still！
yours； anne
m。 frank
thursday； may 25； 1944
dearest kitty；
beps engaged！ the news isnt much of a surprise； though none of us are particularly pleased。 bertus may be a nice； steady； athletic young man； but bep doesnt love him； and to me thats enough reason to advise her against marrying him。
beps trying to get ahead in the world； and bertus is pulling her back； hes a laborer； without any interests or any desire to make something of himself； and i dont think thatll make bep happy。 i can understand beps wanting to put an end to her indecision； four weeks ago she decided to write him off； but then she felt even worse。
so she wrote him a letter； and now shes engaged。
there are several factors involved in this engagement。 first； beps sick father； who likes bertus very much。 second； shes the oldest of the voskuijl girls and her mother teases her about being an old maid。 third； shes just turned twenty…four； and that matters a great deal to bep。
mother said it would have been better if bep had simply had an affair with bertus。 i dont know； i feel sorry for bep and can understand her loneliness。 in any case； they can get married only after the war； since bertus is in hiding； or at any rate has gone underground。 besides； they dont have a penny to their name and nothing in the way of a hope chest。 what a sorry prospect for bep； for whom we all wish the best。 i only hope bertus improves under her influence； or that bep finds another man； one who knows how to appreciate her！
yours； anne
m。 frank
the same day theres something happening every day。 this morning mr。 van hoeven was arrested。
he was hiding two jews in his house。 its a heavy blow for us； not only because those poor jews are once again balancing on the edge of an abyss； but also because its terrible for mr。 van hoeven。
the worlds been turned upside down。 the most decent people are being sent to concentration camps； prisons and lonely cells； while the lowest of the low rule over young and old； rich and poor。 one gets caught for black marketeering； another for hiding jews or other un… fortunate souls。 unless youre a nazi； you dont know whats going to happen to you from one day to the next。
mr。 van hoeven is a great loss to us too。 bep cant possibly lug such huge amounts of potatoes all the way here； nor should she have to； so our only choice is to eat fewer of them。 ill tell you what we have in mind； but its certainly not going to make life here any more agreeable。 mother says well skip breakfast； eat hot cereal and bread for lunch and fried potatoes for dinner and； if possible； vegetables or lettuce once