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Painted Windows
by Elia W。 Peattie
Will you come with me into the chamber of memory
and lift your eyes to the painted windows where the figures
and scenes of childhood appear？ Perhaps by looking with
kindly eyes at those from out my past； long wished…for
visions of your own youth will appear to heal the wounds
from which you suffer； and to quiet your stormy and
restless heart。
CONTENTS
I NIGHT
II SOLITUDE
III FRIENDSHIP
IV FAME
V REMORSE
VI TRAVEL
PAINTED WINDOWS
I
NIGHT
YOUNG people believe very little
that they hear about the compen…
sations of growing old； and of living
over again in memory the events of the
past。 Yet there really are these com…
pensations and pleasures； and although
they are not so vivid and breathless as
the pleasures of youth； they have some…
thing delicate and fine about them that
must be experienced to be appreciated。
Few of us would exchange our mem…
ories for those of others。 They have
become a part of our personality； and
we could not part with them without
losing something of ourselves。 Neither
would we part with our own particular
childhood； which； however difficult it
may have been at times； seems to each
of us more significant than the child…
hood of any one else。 I can run over
in my mind certain incidents of my
childhood as if they were chapters in a
much…loved book； and when I am wake…
ful at night； or bored by a long journey；
or waiting for some one in the railway…
station； I take them out and go over
them again。
Nor is my book of memories without
its illustrations。 I can see little vil…
lages； and a great city； and forests and
planted fields； and familiar faces； and
all have this advantage： they are not
fixed and without motion； like the pic…
tures in the ordinary book。 People
are walking up the streets of the vil…
lage； the trees are tossing； the tall
wheat and corn in the fields salute me。
I can smell the odour of the gathered
hay； and the faces in my dream…book
smile at me。
Of all of these memories I like best
the one in the pine forest。
I was at that age when children think
of their parents as being all…powerful。
I could hardly have imagined any cir…
cumstances； however adverse； that my
father could not have met with his
strength and wisdom and skill。 All chil…
dren have such a period of hero…wor…
ship； I suppose； when their father
stands out from the rest of the world
as the best and most powerful man
living。 So； feeling as I did； I was made
happier than I can say when my father
decided； because I was looking pale and
had a poor appetite； to take me out of
school for a while； and carry me with
him on a driving trip。 We lived in
Michigan； where there were； in the days
of which I am writing； not many rail…
roads； and when my father； who was
attorney for a number of wholesale mer…
cantile firms in Detroit； used to go
about the country collecting money due；
adjusting claims； and so on； he had no
choice but to drive。
And over what roads！ Now it was
a strip of corduroy； now a piece of well…
graded elevation with clay subsoil and
gravel surface； now a neglected stretch
full of dangerous holes； and worst of
all； running through the great forests；
long pieces of road from which the
stumps had been only partly extracted；
and where the sunlight barely pene…
trated。 Here the soaked earth became
little less than a quagmire。
But father was too well used to hard
journeys to fear them； and I felt that；
in going with him； I was safe from all
possible harm。 The journey had all the
allurement of an adventure； for we
would not know from day to day where
we should eat our meals or sleep at
night。 So； to provide against trouble；
we carried father's old red…and…blue…
checked army blankets； a bag of feed
for Sheridan； the horse； plenty of bread；
bacon； jam； coffee and prepared cream；
and we hung pails of pure water and
buttermilk from the rear of our buggy。
We had been out two weeks without
failing once to eat at a proper table or
to sleep in a comfortable bed。 Some…
times we put up at the stark…looking ho…
tels that loomed； raw and uninviting；
in the larger towns； sometimes we had
the pleasure of being welcomed at a
little inn； where the host showed us a
personal hospitality； but oftener we
were forced to make ourselves 〃paying
guests〃 at some house。 We cared noth…
ing whether we slept in the spare rooms
of a fine frame 〃residence〃 or crept
into bed beneath the eaves of the attic
in a log cabin。 I had begun to feel that
our journey would be almost too tame
and comfortable； when one night some…
thing really happened。
Father lost his bearings。 He was
hoping to reach the town of Gratiot by
nightfall； and he attempted to make a
short cut。 To do this he turned into
a road that wound through a magnifi…
cent forest； at first of oak and butter…
nut； ironwood and beech； then of
densely growing pines。 When we en…
tered the wood it was twilight； but no
sooner were we well within the shadow
of these sombre trees than we were
plunged in darkness； and within half an
hour this darkness deepened； so that
we could see nothing not even the
horse。
〃The sun doesn't get in here the
year round；〃 said father； trying his
best to guide the horse through the
mire。 So deep was the mud that it
seemed as if it literally sucked at the
legs of the horse and the wheels of the
buggy； and I began to wonder if we
should really be swallowed； and to fear
that we had met with a difficulty that
even my father could not overcome。 I
can hardly make plain what a tragic
thought that was！ The horse began to
give out sighs and groans； and in the
intervals of his struggles to get on； I
could feel him trembling。 There was
a note of anxiety in father's voice as
he called out； with all the authority and
cheer he could command； to poor Sheri…
dan。 The wind was rising； and the long
sobs of the pines made cold shivers run
up my spine。 My teeth chattered；
partly from cold； but more from fright。
〃What are we going to do？〃 I asked；
my voice quivering with tears。
〃Well； we aren't going to cry； what…
ever else we do！〃 answered father；
rather sharply。 He snatched the
lighted lantern from its place on the
dashboard and leaped out into the road。
I could hear him floundering round in
that terrible mire and soothing the
horse。 The next thing I realised was
that the horse was unhitched； that fa…
ther had for the first time during our
journey laid the lash across Sheri…
dan's back； and that； with a leap of in…
dignation； the horse had reached the
firm ground of the roadside。 Father
called out to him to stand still； and a
moment later I found myself being
swung from the buggy into father's
arms。 He staggered along； plunging
and almost falling； and presently I； too；
stood beneath the giant pines。
〃One journey more；〃 said father；
〃for our supper； and then we'll bivouac
right here。〃
Now that I was away from the buggy
that was so familiar to me； and that
seemed like a little movable piece of
home； I felt； as I had not felt before；
the vastness of the solitude。 Above me
in the rising wind tossed the tops of the
singing trees； about me stretched the
soft blackness； and beneath the dense；
interlaced branches it was almost as
calm and still as in a room。 I could see
that the clouds were breaking and the
stars beginning to come out； and that
comforted me a little。
Father was keeping up a stream of
cheerful talk。
〃Now； sir；〃 he was saying to Sheri…
dan； 〃stand still while I get this har…
ness off you。 I'll tie you and blanket
you； and you can lie or stand as you
please。 Here's your nose…bag； with
some good supper in it； and if you don't
have drink； it's not my fault。 Anyway；
it isn't so long since you got a good nip
at the creek。〃
I was watching by the faint light of
the lantern； and noticing how unnat…
ural father and Sheridan looked。 They
seemed to be blocked out in a rude kind
of way； like some wooden toys I had at
home。
〃Here we are；〃 said father； 〃like
Robinson Crusoes。 It was hard luck
for Robinson； not having his little girl
along。 He'd have had her to pick up
sticks and twigs to make a fire； and that
would have been a great help to him。〃
Father began breaking fallen
branches over his knee； and I groped
round and filled my arms again and
again with little fagots。 So after a few
minutes we had a fine fire crackling in
a place where it could not catch the
branches of the trees。 Father had
scraped the needles of the pines to…
gether in such a way that a bare rim of
earth was left all around the fire； so that
it could not spread along the ground；
and presently the coffee…pot was over
the fire and bacon was sizzling in the
frying…pan。 The good； hearty odours
came out to mingle with the delicious
scent of the pines； and I； setting out
our dishes； began to feel a happiness
different from anything I had ever
known。
Pioneers and wanderers and soldiers
have joys of their own joys of which
I had heard often enough； for there had
been more stories told than read in our
house。 But now for the first time I
knew what my grandmother and my
uncles had me