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plantation songs。 Now； when he passed；
he only nodded。 When I spoke to him
about his not giving me any more ap…
ples； he said：
〃Ah reckon they're your pa's ap…
ples； missy。 Why； fo' goodness' sake；
don' yo' he'p yo'se'f？〃
But I did not want to help myself。
I wanted to be helped not because I
was lazy； but because I wanted to be
adored。 I was really a sort of fairy
princess； misplaced； of course； in a
stupid republic； and I wanted life con…
ducted on a fairy…princess basis。 It was
a game I wished to play； but it was one
I could not play alone； and not a soul
could I find who seemed inclined to play
it with me。
Well； things went from bad to worse。
I decided that if mother no longer loved
me； I would no longer tell her things。
So I did not。 I got a hundred in spell…
ing for twelve days running； and did
not tell her！ I broke Edna Grantham's
mother's water…pitcher； and kept the
fact a secret。 The secret was； indeed；
as sharp…edged as the pieces of the
broken pitcher had been； I cried under
the bedclothes； thinking how sorry Mrs。
Grantham had been； and that mother
really ought to know。 Only what was
the use？ I no longer looked to her to
help me out of my troubles。
I had no need now to have father and
mother tell me to hurry up and finish
my chatter； for I kept all that hap…
pened to myself。 I had a new 〃intimate
friend；〃 and did not so much as men…
tion her。 I wrote a poem and showed
it to my teacher； but not to my unin…
terested parents。 And when I climbed
the stairs at night to my room； I swelled
with loneliness and anguish and resent…
ment； and the hot tears came to my eyes
as I heard father and mother laughing
and talking together and paying no at…
tention to my misery。 I could hear
Toot； who used to be making all sorts
of little presents for me； whistling as
he brought in the wood and water； and
then 〃cleaned up〃 to go to see his
Tulula； with never a thought of me。
And I said to myself that the best thing
I could do was to grow up and get
away from a place where I was no
longer wanted。
No one noticed my sufferings further
than sometimes to say impatiently；
〃What makes you act so strange；
child？〃 And to that； of course； I an…
swered nothing； for what I had to say
would not； I felt； be understood。
One morning in June I left home with
my resentment burning fiercely within
me。 I had not cared for the things we
had for breakfast； for I was half…ill
with fretting and with the closeness of
the day； but my lack of appetite had
been passed by with the remark that
any one was likely not to have an ap…
petite on such a close day。 But I was
so languid； and so averse to taking up
the usual round of things； that I begged
mother to let me stay at home。 She
shook her head decidedly。
〃You've been out of school too many
days already this term；〃 she said。
〃Run along now； or you'll he late！〃
〃Please 〃 I began； for my head
really was whirling； although； quite as
much； perhaps； from my perversity as
from any other cause。 Mother turned
on me one of her 〃lastword〃 glances。
〃Go to school without another word；〃
she said； quietly。
I knew that quiet tone； and I went。
And now I was sure that all was over
between my parents and myself。 I be…
gan to wonder if I need really wait till
I was grown up before leaving home。
So miserably absorbed was I in think…
ing of this； and in pitying myself with
a consuming pity； that everything at
school seemed to pass like the shadow
of a dream。 I blundered in whatever
I tried to do； was sharply scolded for
not hearing the teacher until she had
spoken my name three times； and was
holding on to myself desperately in my
effort to keep back a flood of tears；
when I became aware that something
was happening。
There suddenly was a perfect silence
in the room the sort of silence that
makes the heart beat too fast。 The
mist swimming before me did not； I per…
ceived； come from my own eyes； but
from the changing colour of the air； the
usual transparency of which was being
tinged with yellow。 The sultriness of
the day was deepening； and seemed to
carry a threat with it。
〃Something is going to happen；〃
thought I； and over the whole room
spread the same conviction。 Electric
currents seemed to snap from one con…
sciousness to another。 We dropped our
books； and turned our eyes toward the
western windows； to look upon a
changed world。 It was as if we peered
through yellow glass。 In the sky soft…
looking； tawny clouds came tumbling
along like playful cats or tigers。 A
moment later we saw that they were
not playful； but angry； they stretched
out claws； and snarled as they did so。
One claw reached the tall chimneys of
the schoolhouse； another tapped at the
cupola； one was thrust through the wall
near where I sat。
Then it grew black； and there was a
bellowing all about us； so that the com…
mands of the teacher and the screams
of the children barely could be heard。
I knew little or nothing。 My shoulder
was stinging； something had hit me on
the side of the head； my eyes were full
of dust and mortar； and my feet were
carrying me with the others along the
corridor； down the two flights of wide
stairs。 I do not think we pushed each
other or were reckless。 My recollec…
tion is only of many shadowy figures
flying on with sure feet out of the build…
ing that seemed to be falling in upon us。
Presently we were out on the land…
ing before the door； with one more
flight of steps before us； that reached
to the street。 Something so strong that
it might not be denied gathered me up
in invisible arms； whirled me round
once or twice and dropped me； not un…
gently； in the middle of the road。 And
then； as I struggled to my knees and；
wiping the dust from my eyes； looked
up； I saw dozens of others being lifted
in the same way； and blown off into the
yard or the street。 The larger ones
were trying to hold on to the smaller；
and the teachers were endeavouring to
keep the children from going out of the
building； but their efforts were of no
avail。 The children came on； and were
blown about like leaves。
Then I saw what looked like a high
yellow wall advancing upon me a roar…
ing and fearsome mass of driven dust；
sticks； debris。 It came over me that my
own home might be there； in strips and
fragments； to beat me down and kill
me； and with the thought came a swift
little vision out of my geography of the
Arabs in a sand…storm on the desert。 I
gathered up my fluttering dress skirt；
held it tight about my head； and lay flat
upon the ground。
It seemed as if a long time passed；
a time in which I knew very little ex…
cept that I was fighting for my breath
as I never had fought for anything。
There were more hurts and bruises
now； but they did not matter。 Just to
draw my own breath in my own way
seemed to be the only thing in the
world that was of any account。 And
then there was a shaft of flame； an ear…
splitting roar； and the rain was upon
us in sheets； in streams； in visible riv…
ers。
I imagined that it would last a long
time； and wondered in a daze how I
could get home in a rain like that
for I should have to face it。 I could
see that in a few seconds the gutters
had begun to race； the road where I
lay was a stream； and then then the
rain ceased。 Never was anything so
astonishing。 The sky came out blue；
tattered rags of cloud raced across it；
and I had time to conclude that； whip…
ped and almost breathless though I
was； I was still alive。
And then I saw a curious sight。 Down
the street in every direction came rush…
ing hatless men and women。 Here and
there a wild…eyed horse was being
lashed along。 All the town was coming。
They were in their work clothes； in
their slippers； in their wrappers they
were in anything and everything。 Some
of them sobbed as they ran； some called
aloud names that I knew。 They were
fathers and mothers looking for their
children。
And who was that that woman with
a white face； with hair falling about her
shoulders； where it had fallen as she
ran that woman whose breath came
between her teeth strangely and who
called my name over and over； bleat…
ingly； as a mother sheep calls its lamb？
At first I did not recognise her； and
then； at last； I knew。 And that creature
with the rolling eyes and the curious
ash…coloured face who； mumbling some…
thing over and over in his throat； came
for me； and snatched me up and wiped
my face free of mud； and felt of me
here and there with trembling hands
who was he？
And breaking out of the crowd of
men who had come running from the
street of stores and offices； was an…
other strange being； with a sort of bat…
tle light in his eyes； who； seeing me；
gathered me to him and bore me away
toward home。 Looking back； I could
see the woman I knew following； lean…
ing on the arm of the boy with the roll…
ing eyes； whose eyes had ceased to roll；
and who was quite recognisable now as
Toot。
A happiness that was almost as ter…
rible as sorrow welled up in my heart。
I did not weep； or laugh； or talk。 All
I had experienced had carried me be…
yond mere excitement into exultation。
I exulted in life； in love。 My conceit
and sulkiness died in that storm