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for the actual； tangible suffering before me。 I stretched out my
hand to his； and his fingers closed on mine with a sudden； painful
grip。 Then quietly
〃I will tell you the story；〃 he said； 〃though since that miserable
time I have spoken of it to no one。〃
There was a pause before he began。 He lay there by my side； his
gaze turned across me up the sunbright； autumn…tinted glen； but his
eyes shadowed by the memories which he was striving to recall and
arrange in due order in his mind。 And when he did speak it was not
directly to begin the promised recital。
〃You never knew Jack；〃 he said； abruptly。
〃Hardly；〃 I acquiesced。 〃I remember thinking him very handsome。〃
〃There could not be two opinions as to that；〃 he answered。 〃And a
man who could have done anything he liked with life； had things
gone differently。 His abilities were fine； but his strength lay
above all in his character： he was strong；strong in his likes and
in his dislikes； resolute； fearless； incapable of half measuresa
man； every inch of him。 He was not generally popularstiff； hard；
unsympathetic； people called him。 From one point of view； and one
only； he perhaps deserved the epithets。 If a woman lost his
respect she seemed to lose his pity too。 Like a mediaeval monk； he
looked upon such rather as the cause than the result of male
depravity； and his contempt for them mingled with anger； almost； as
I sometimes thought； with hatred。 And this attitude was； I have no
doubt； resented by the men of his own class and set； who shared
neither his faults nor his virtues。 But in other ways he was not
hard。 He could love； I； at least； have cause to know it。 If you
would hear his story rightly from my lips； Evie； you must try and
see him with my eyes。 The friend who loved me； and whom I loved
with the passion which； if not the strongest； is certainly； I
believe； the most enduring of which men are capable；that perfect
brother's love； which so grows into our being that when it is at
peace we are scarcely conscious of its existence； and when it is
wounded our very life…blood seems to flow at the stroke。 Brothers
do not always love like that： I can only wish that we had not done
so。
VII
〃Well； about five years ago； before I had taken my degree； I became
acquainted with a woman whom I will call 'Delia；'it is near
enough to the name by which she went。 She was a few years older
than myself； very beautiful； and I believed her to be what she
described herselfthe innocent victim of circumstance and false
appearance； a helpless prey to the vile calumnies of worldlings。
In sober fact； I am afraid that； whatever her life may have been
actually at the time that I knew hera subject which I have never
cared to investigateher past had been not only bad enough
irretrievably to fix her position in society； but bad enough to
leave her without an ideal in the world； though still retaining
within her heart the possibilities of a passion which； from the
moment that it came to life； was strong enough to turn her whole
existence into one desperate reckless straining after an object
hopelessly beyond her reach。 That was the woman with whom； at the
age of twenty； I fancied myself in love。 She wanted to get a
husband； and she thought merightlyass enough to accept the
post。 I was very young then even for my years；a student； an
idealist； with an imagination highly developed； and no knowledge
whatever of the world as it actually is。 Anyhow； before I had
known her a month； I had determined to make her my wife。 My
parents were abroad at the time； George and Lucy here； so that it
was to Jack that I imparted the news of my resolve。 As you may
imagine； he did all that he could to shake it。 But I was
immovable。 I disbelieved his facts； and despised his contempt from
the standpoint of my own superior morality。 This state of things
continued for several weeks； during the greater part of which time
I was at Oxford。 I only knew that while I was there； Jack had made
Delia's acquaintance； and was apparently cultivating it
assiduously。
〃One day； during the Easter vacation； I got a note from her asking
me to supper at her house。 Jack was invited too： we lodged
together while my people were away。
〃There is no need to dwell upon that supper。 There were two or
three women there of her own sort； or worse； and a dozen men from
among the most profligate in London。 The conversation was； I
should think； bad even for that class； and she； the goddess of my
idolatry； outstripped them all by the foul； coarse shamelessness of
her language and behavior。 Before the entertainment was half over；
I rose and took my leave； accompanied by Jack and another man；
Legard was his name；who I presume was bored。 Just as we had
passed through into the anteroom； which lay beyond the one in which
we had been eating； Delia followed us； and laying her hand on
Jack's arm； said that she must speak with him。 Legard and I went
into the outer hall； and we had not been there more than a minute
when the door from the anteroom opened； and we heard Delia's voice。
I remember the words well；that was not the only occasion on which
I was to hear them。 'I will keep the ring as a record of my love；'
she said； 'and understand； that though you may forget； I never
shall。' Jack came through； the door closed； and as we went out I
glanced towards his left hand； and saw； as I expected to see； the
absence of the ring which he usually wore there。 It contained a
gem which my mother had picked up in the East； and I knew that he
valued it quite peculiarly。 We always called it Jack's talisman。
〃A miserable time followed； a time for me of agonizing wonder and
doubt； during which regret for my dead illusion was entirely
swallowed up in the terrible dread of my brother's degradation。
Then came the announcement of his engagement to Lady Sylvia Grey；
and a week later； the very day after I had finally returned to
London from Oxford； I received a summons from Delia to come and see
her。 Curiosity； and the haunting fear about Jack； which still hung
round me； induced me to consent to what otherwise would have been
intolerably repellent to me； and I went。 I found her in a mad
passion of fury。 Jack had refused to see her or to answer her
letters； and she had sent for me； that I might give him her
message；tell him that he belonged to her and her only； and that
he never should marry another woman。 Angry at my interference；
Jack disdained even to repudiate her claims； only sending back a
threat of appealing to the police if she ventured upon any further
annoyance。 I wrote as she told me； and she emphasized my silence
on the subject by writing back to me a more definite and explicit
assertion of her rights。 Beyond that for some weeks she made no
sign。 I have no doubt that she had means of keeping watch upon
both his movements and mine； and during that time； as she
relinquished gradually all hopes of inducing him to abandon his
purpose； she was being driven to her last despairing resolve。
〃Later； when all was over； Jack told me the story of that spring
and summer。 He told me how； when he found me immovable on the
subject； he had resolved to stop the marriage somehow through Delia
herself。 He had made her acquaintance； and sought her society
frequently。 She had taken a fancy to him； and he admitted that he
had availed himself of this fact to increase his intimacy with her；
and； as he hoped ultimately； his power over her。 But he was not
conscious of ever having varied in his manner towards her of
contemptuous indifference。 This contradictory behavior；his being
constantly near her； yet always beyond her reach；was probably the
very thing which excited her fancy into passion； the one strong
passion of the poor woman's life。 Then came his deliberate demand
that she should by her own act unmask herself in my sight。 The
unfortunate woman tried to bargain for some proof of affection in
return； and on this occasion had first openly declared her feelings
towards him。 He did not believe her； he refused her terms； but
when as her payment she asked for the ring which was so especially
associated with himself； he agreed to give it to her。 Otherwise
hoping； no doubt against hope； dreading above all things a quarrel
and final separation； she submitted unconditionally。 And from the
time of that evening； when Legard and I had overheard her parting
words； Jack never saw her again until the last and final
catastrophe。
〃It was in July。 My parents had returned to England； but had come
straight on here。 Jack and I were dining together with Lady Sylvia
at her father's househer brother； young Grey； making the fourth
at dinner。 I had arranged to go to a party with your mother； and I
told the servants that a lady would call for me early in the
evening。 The house stood in Park Lane； and after dinner we all
went out on to the broad balcony which opened from the drawing…
room。 There was a strong wind blowing that night； and I remember
well the vague； disquieted feeling of unreality that possessed me；
sweeping through me； as it were； with each gust of wind。 Then；
suddenly； a servant stood behind me； saying that th