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the fortunes of oliver horn-第20部分

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said to himself with a heavy sigh。 Then the calm eyes of his mother had looked into his again; and he had felt the pressure of the soft hand and heard the tones of her voice:

〃You may have many discouragements; my son; and will often be ready to faint by the way; but stick to it and you will win。〃

His bitterness had been but momentary; and he had soon pulled himself together; but his every resource  seemed exhausted now。 He had counted so on the situationthat of a shipping…clerk in a dry… goods storepromised him because of a letter that he carried from Amos Cobb's friend。 But at the last moment the former clerk; who had been laid off because  of sickness; had been taken back; and so the weary search for work must begin again。

And yet with everything against him Oliver had no thought of giving up the struggle。 Even Amos Cobb would have been proud of him could he have seen the dogged tenacity with which he clung to his purposea tenacity due to his buoyant; happy temperament; or to his devotion to his mother's wishes; or (and this is more than probable) to some drops of blood; perhaps; that had reached his own through his mother's veinsthe blood of that Major with the blue and buff coat; whose portrait hung in the dining…room at home; and who in the early days had braved the flood at Trenton side by side with the Hero of the Bronze Horse now overlooking the bench on which Oliver sat; or it may be of that other ancestor in the queue whose portrait hung over the mantel of the club and who had served his State with distinction in his day。

Whatever the causes of these several effects; the one dominating power which now controlled him was his veneration for his mother's name and honor。 For on the night succeeding Amos Cobb's visit after she had dropped upon her knees and poured out her heart in prayer she had gone into Oliver's bedroom; and shutting the door had told him of the mortgage; of his father's embarrassment; and the danger they suffered of losing the farmtheir only hope for their old ageunless success crowned Richard's inventions。 With his hand fast in hers she had given him in exact detail all that she had done to ward off this calamity; recounting; word by word; what she had said to the Colonel; lowering her voice almost to a whisper as she spoke of the solemn promise she had made himinvolving her own and her husband's honorand the lengths to which she was prepared to go to keep her obligations to the bank。

Then; her hand still clasping his; the two sitting side by side on his bed; his wondering; startled eyes looking into hersfor this world of anxiety was an unknown world to himshe had by slow stages made him realize how necessary it was that he; their only son; and their sole dependence; should begin at once to earn his daily bread; not only on his own account but on hers and his father's。 In her tenderness she had not told him that the real reason was his instability  of purpose; fearing to wound his pride; she had put it solely on the ground of his settling down to some work。

〃It is the law of nature; my son;〃 she had added。 〃Everything that lives must WORK to live。 You have only to watch the birds out here in the Square to convince  you of that。 Notice them to…morrow; when you go out。 See how busy they are; see how long it takes for any one of them to get a meal。 You are old enough now to begin to earn your own bread; and you must begin at once; Ollie。 Your father can no longer help you。 I had hoped your profession would do this for you; but that is not to be thought of now。〃

Oliver; at first; had been stunned by it all。 He had never before given the practical side of life a single thought。 Everything had gone along smoothly from his earliest remembrance。 His father's house had been his home and his protection; his room with its little bed and pretty hangings and all its comforts a room cared for like a girl'shad always been open to him。 He had never once asked himself how these things came about; nor why they continued。 These revelations of his mother's therefore were like the sudden opening of a door covering a vault over which he had walked unconsciously and which now; for the first time; he saw yawning beneath him。

〃Poor daddy;〃 were his first words。 〃I never knew a thing about his troubles; he seems always so happy and so gentle。 I am so sorrydear daddy dear dad〃 he kept repeating。

And then as she spoke there flashed into his mind the thought of his own hopes。 They were shattered now。 He knew that the art career was dead for him; and that all his dreams in that direction were over。

He was about to tell her this; but he stopped before  the words were formed。 He would not add his own burden to her sorrow。 No; he would bear it alone。 He would tell Sue; but he would not tell his mother。 Next there welled up in his heart a desire to help this mother whom he idolized; and this father who represented to him all that was kind and true。

〃What can I do? Where can I go; dearie?〃 he cried with sudden resolve。 〃Even if I am to work with my hands I am ready to do it; but it must be away from here。 I could not do it here at home with everybody looking on; no; not here! not here!〃

This victory gained; the mother with infinite tact; little by little; unfolded to the son the things she had planned。 Finally with her arms about his neck; smoothing his cheek with her hands she told him of Amos Cobb's advice and of his offer; adding: 〃He will give you a letter to his friend who lives at Haverstraw near New York; my boy; with whom you can stay until you get the situation you want。〃

The very impracticability of this scheme did not weigh with her。 She did not see how almost hopeless would be the task of finding employment in an unknown  city。 Nor did the length of time her son might be a burden on a total stranger make any difference  in her plans。 Her own home had always been open to the friends of her friends; and for any length of time; and her inborn sense of hospitality made it impossible for her to understand any other conditions。  Then again she said to herself: 〃Mr。 Cobb is a thoroughly practical man; and a very kind one。 His friend will welcome Oliver; or he would not have allowed my son to go。〃 She had repeated; however; no word of the Vermonter's advice 〃to chuck the boy out neck and heels into the world and let him shift for himself;〃 although the very Spartan quality of the suggestion; in spite of its brusqueness; had greatly pleased her。 She could not but recognize that Amos understood。 She would have faced the situation herself if she had been in her son's place; she said so to herself。 And she hoped; too; that Oliver would face it as bravely when the time came。

As for the temptations that might assail her boy in the great city; she never gave them a thought。 Neither the love of drink nor the love of play ran in her own or Richard's veinsnot for generations。 back。 〃One test of a gentleman; my son;〃 Richard always said; 〃lies in the way in which he controls his appetitesin the way he regards his meat and drink。 Both are foods for the mind as well as for the body; and must be used as such。 Gluttons and drunkards should he classed together。〃 No; her boy's heart might lead him astray; but not his appetites; and never his passions。 She was as sure of that as she was of his love。

As she talked on; Oliver's mind; yielding to her stronger will as clay does to a sculptor's hand; began  to take shape。 What at first had looked like a hardship now began to have an attractive side。 Perhaps  the art career need not be wholly given up。 Perhaps;  too; there was a better field for him in New York than hereold Mr。 Crocker had always told him this。 Then; too; there was something of fascination  after all; in going out alone like a knight…errant to conquer the world。 And in that great Northern city; too; with its rush and whirl and all that it held for him of mystery! How many times had Mr。 Crocker  talked to him by the hour of its delights。 And Ellicott's  chair! Yes; he could get rid of that。 And Sue? Sue would waitshe had promised him she would; no; there was no doubt about Sue! She would love him all the better if he fought his battle alone。 Only the day before she had told him of the wonderful feats of the White Knight; that the new English poet had just written about and that everybody in Kennedy Square was now reading。

Above all there was the delight of another sensation the sensation of a new move。 This really pleased him best。 He was apparently listening to his mother when these thoughts took possession of him; for his eyes were still fixed on hers; but he heard only a word now and then。 It was his imagination that swayed him now; not his will nor his judgment。 He would have his own adventures in the great city and see the world as Mr。 Crocker had done; he said to himself。

〃Yes; dearie; I'll go;〃 he answered quickly。 〃Don't talk any more about it。 I'll do just as you want me to; and I'll go anywhere you say。 But about the money for my expenses? Can father give it to me?〃 he asked suddenly; a shade of anxiety crossing his face。

〃We won't ask your father; Ollie;〃 she said; drawing  him closer to her。 She knew he would yield to her wishes; and she loved him the better for it; if that were possib
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