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Corney’s little finger as she took it； and inflicting two open…handed
slaps upon his laced waistcoat； gave a mighty sigh； and hitched his
chair a very little morsel farther from the fire。
It was a round table； and as Mrs。 Corney and Mr。 Bumble had
been sitting opposite each other； with no great space between
them； and fronting the fire； it will be seen that Mr。 Bumble； in
receding from the fire； and still keeping at the table； increased the
distance between himself and Mrs。 Corney； which proceeding
some prudent readers will doubtless be disposed to admire； and to
consider an act of great heroism on Mr。 Bumble’s part： he being in
some sort tempted by time； place； and opportunity； to give
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utterance to certain soft nothings； which； however well they may
become the lips of the light and thoughtless； so seem
immeasurably beneath the dignity of judges of the land； members
of parliament； ministers of state； lord mayors； and other great
public functionaries but more particularly beneath the stateliness
and gravity of a beadle； who （as is well known） should be the
sternest and most inflexible among them all。
Whatever were Mr。 Bumble’s intentions； however （and no
doubt they were of the best）； it unfortunately happened； as has
been twice before remarked； that the table was a round one；
consequently Mr。 Bumble； moving his chair by little and little；
soon began to diminish the distance between himself and the
matron； and； continuing to travel round the outer edge of the
circle； brought his chair； in time； close to that in which the matron
was seated。 Indeed； the two chairs touched； and when they did so；
Mr。 Bumble stopped。
Now； if the matron had moved her chair to the right； she would
have been scorched by the fire； and if to the left； she must have
fallen into Mr。 Bumble’s arms； so （being a discreet matron； and no
doubt foreseeing these consequences at a glance） she remained
where she was； and handed Mr。 Bumble another cup of tea。
“Hard…hearted； Mrs。 Corney？” said Mr。 Bumble； stirring his tea；
and looking up into the matron’s face； “are you hardhearted； Mrs。
Corney？”
“Dear me！” exclaimed the matron； “what a very curious
question from a single man。 What can you want to know for； Mr。
Bumble？”
The beadle drank his tea to the last drop； finished a piece of
toast； whisked the crumbs off his knees； wiped his lips； and
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deliberately kissed the matron。
“Mr。 Bumble！” cried that discreet lady in a whisper； for the
fright was so great； that she had quite lost her voice： “Mr。 Bumble；
I shall scream！” Mr。 Bumble made no reply； but in a slow and
dignified manner； put his arm round the matron’s waist。
As the lady had stated her intention of screaming； of course she
would have screamed at this additional boldness； but that the
exertion was rendered unnecessary by a hasty knocking at the
door； which was no sooner heard； than Mr。 Bumble darted； with
much agility； to the wine bottles； and began dusting them with
great violence； while the matron sharply demanded who was
there。 It is worthy of remark； as a curious physical instance of the
efficacy of a sudden surprise in counteracting the effects of
extreme fear； that her voice had quite recovered all its official
asperity。
“If you please； mistress；” said a withered old female pauper；
hideously ugly； putting her head in at the door； “old Sally is a…
going fast。”
“Well； what’s that to me？” angrily demanded the matron。 “I
can’t keep her alive； can I？”
“No； no； mistress；” replied the old woman； “nobody can； she’s
far beyond the reach of help。 I’ve seen a many people die； little
babies and great strong men； and I know when death’s a…coming；
well enough。 But she’s troubled in her mind； and when the fits are
not on her； and that’s not often； for she is dying very hard—she
says she has got something to tell； which you must hear。 She’ll
never die quiet till you come； mistress。”
At this intelligence； the worthy Mrs。 Corney muttered a variety
of invectives against old women who couldn’t even die without
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purposely annoying their betters； and； muffling herself in a thick
shawl which she hastily caught up； briefly requested Mr。 Bumble
to stay till she came back； lest anything particular should occur；
and bidding the messenger walk fast； and not be all night hobbling
up the stairs； she followed her from the room with a very ill grace；
scolding all the way。
Mr。 Bumble’s conduct on being left to himself； was rather
inexplicable。 He opened the closet； counted the teaspoons；
weighed the sugar…tongs； closely inspected a silver milk…pot to
ascertain that it was of the genuine metal； and； having satisfied his
curiosity on these points； put on his cocked hat corner…wise； and
danced with much gravity four distinct times round the table。
Having gone through this very extraordinary performance； he
took off the cocked hat again； and； spreading himself before the
fire with his back towards it； seemed to be mentally engaged in
taking an exact inventory of the furniture。
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Chapter 24
Treats Of A Very Poor Subject—But Is A Short One；
And May Be Found Of Importance In This History。
It was no unfit messenger of death； who had disturbed the
quiet of the matron’s room。 Her body was bent by age； her
limbs trembled with palsy； her face； distorted into a
mumbling leer； resembled more the grotesque shaping of some
wild pencil； than the work of Nature’s hand。
Alas！ How few of Nature’s faces are left alone to gladden us
with their beauty！ The cares； and sorrows； and hungerings； of the
world； change them as they change hearts； and it is only when
those passions sleep； and have lost their hold for ever； that the
troubled clouds pass off； and leave Heaven’s surface clear。 It is a
common thing for the countenances of the dead； even in that fixed
and rigid state； to subside into the long…forgotten expression of
sleeping infancy； and settle into the very look of early life； so calm；
so peaceful； do they grow again； that those who knew them in their
happy childhood； kneel by the coffin’s side in awe； and see the
angel even upon earth。
The old crone tottered along the passages； and up the stairs；
muttering some indistinct answers to the chidings of her
companion； and being at length compelled to pause for breath；
gave the light into her hand； and remained behind to follow as she
might； while the more nimble superior made her way to the room
where the sick woman lay。
It was a bare garret…room； with a dim light burning at the
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farther end。 There was another old woman watching by the bed；
the parish apothecary’s apprentice was standing by the fire；
making a toothpick out of a quill。
“Cold night； Mrs。 Corney；” said this young gentleman； as the
matron entered。
“Very cold； indeed； sir；” replied the mistress； in her most civil
tones； and dropping a curtsey as she spoke。
“You should get better coals out of your contractors；” said the
apothecary’s deputy； breaking a lump on the top of the fire with
the rusty poker； “these are not at all the sort of thing for a cold
night。”
“They’re the Board’s choosing； sir；” returned the matron。 “The
least they could do； would be to keep us pretty warm； for our
places are hard enough。”
The conversation was here interrupted by a moan from the sick
woman。
“Oh！” said the young man； turning his face towards the bed； as
if he had previously quite forgotten the patient； “it’s all U。 P。 there；
Mrs。 Corney。”
“It is； is it； sir？” asked the matron。
“If she lasts a couple of hours； I shall be surprised；” said the
apothecary’s apprentice； intent upon the toothpick’s point。 “It’s a
break…up of the system altogether。 Is she dozing； old lady？”
The attendant stooped over the bed； to ascertain； and nodded
in the affirmative。
“Then perhaps she’ll go off in that way； if you don’t make a
row；” said the young man。 “Put the light on the floor。 She won’t
see it there。”
The attendant did as she was told； shaking her head mean
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while； to intimate that the woman would not die so easily； having
done so； she resumed her seat by the side of the other nurse； who
had by this time returned。 The mistress； with an expression of
impatience； wrapped herself in her shawl； and sat at the foot of the
bed。
The apothecary’s apprentice； having completed the
manufacture of the toothpick； planted himself in front of the fire；
and made good use of it for ten minutes or so； when； apparently
growing rather dull； he wished Mrs。 Corney joy of her job； and
took himself off on tiptoe。
When they had sat in silence for some time； the two old women
rose from the bed； and crouching ove