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LORD TOUCH。 Well； well。
LADY TOUCH。 Nay； but will you be calm？ Indeed it's nothing but …
LORD TOUCH。 But what？
LADY TOUCH。 But will you promise me not to be angry？ Nay； you
mustnot to be angry with Mellefont？ I dare swear he's sorry； and
were it to do again； would not …
LORD TOUCH。 Sorry for what？ 'Death； you rack me with delay。
LADY TOUCH。 Nay； no great matter； onlywell； I have your promise。
Pho； why nothing； only your nephew had a mind to amuse himself
sometimes with a little gallantry towards me。 Nay； I can't think he
meant anything seriously； but methought it looked oddly。
LORD TOUCH。 Confusion and hell； what do I hear？
LADY TOUCH。 Or； may be； he thought he was not enough akin to me；
upon your account； and had a mind to create a nearer relation on his
own； a lover you know； my lord。 Ha； ha； ha。 Well； but that's all。
Now you have it； well remember your promise； my lord； and don't take
any notice of it to him。
LORD TOUCH。 No； no； no。 Damnation！
LADY TOUCH。 Nay； I swear you must not。 A little harmless mirth；
only misplaced； that's all。 But if it were more； 'tis over now； and
all's well。 For my part I have forgot it； and so has he； I hope；
for I have not heard anything from him these two days。
LORD TOUCH。 These two days！ Is it so fresh？ Unnatural villain！
Death； I'll have him stripped and turned naked out of my doors this
moment； and let him rot and perish； incestuous brute！
LADY TOUCH。 Oh； for heav'n's sake； my lord； you'll ruin me if you
take such public notice of it； it will be a town talk。 Consider
your own and my honour； nay； I told you you would not be satisfied
when you knew it。
LORD TOUCH。 Before I've done I will be satisfied。 Ungrateful
monster！ how long？
LADY TOUCH。 Lord； I don't know； I wish my lips had grown together
when I told you。 Almost a twelvemonth。 Nay； I won't tell you any
more till you are yourself。 Pray； my lord； don't let the company
see you in this disorder。 Yet； I confess； I can't blame you； for I
think I was never so surprised in my life。 Who would have thought
my nephew could have so misconstrued my kindness？ But will you go
into your closet； and recover your temper。 I'll make an excuse of
sudden business to the company； and come to you。 Pray； good； dear
my lord； let me beg you do now。 I'll come immediately and tell you
all； will you； my lord？
LORD TOUCH。 I willI am mute with wonder。
LADY TOUCH。 Well； but go now； here's somebody coming。
LORD TOUCH。 Well； I go。 You won't stay？ for I would hear more of
this。
LADY TOUCH。 I follow instantly。 So。
SCENE II。
LADY TOUCHWOOD； MASKWELL。
MASK。 This was a masterpiece； and did not need my help； though I
stood ready for a cue to come in and confirm all； had there been
occasion。
LADY TOUCH。 Have you seen Mellefont？
MASK。 I have； and am to meet him here about this time。
LADY TOUCH。 How does he bear his disappointment？
MASK。 Secure in my assistance； he seemed not much afflicted； but
rather laughed at the shallow artifice； which so little time must of
necessity discover。 Yet he is apprehensive of some farther design
of yours； and has engaged me to watch you。 I believe he will hardly
be able to prevent your plot； yet I would have you use caution and
expedition。
LADY TOUCH。 Expedition indeed； for all we do must be performed in
the remaining part of this evening； and before the company break up；
lest my lord should cool and have an opportunity to talk with him
privately。 My lord must not see him again。
MASK。 By no means； therefore you must aggravate my lord's
displeasure to a degree that will admit of no conference with him。
What think you of mentioning me？
LADY TOUCH。 How？
MASK。 To my lord； as having been privy to Mellefont's design upon
you； but still using my utmost endeavours to dissuade him； though my
friendship and love to him has made me conceal it； yet you may say；
I threatened the next time he attempted anything of that kind to
discover it to my lord。
LADY TOUCH。 To what end is this？
MASK。 It will confirm my lord's opinion of my honour and honesty；
and create in him a new confidence in me； which （should this design
miscarry） will be necessary to the forming another plot that I have
in my head。To cheat you as well as the rest。 ＇Aside。＇
LADY TOUCH。 I'll do itI'll tell him you hindered him once from
forcing me。
MASK。 Excellent！ Your ladyship has a most improving fancy。 You
had best go to my lord； keep him as long as you can in his closet；
and I doubt not but you will mould him to what you please； your
guests are so engaged in their own follies and intrigues； they'll
miss neither of you。
LADY TOUCH。 When shall we meet？at eight this evening in my
chamber？ There rejoice at our success； and toy away an hour in
mirth。
MASK。 I will not fail。
SCENE III。
MASKWELL alone。
I know what she means by toying away an hour well enough。 Pox； I
have lost all appetite to her； yet she's a fine woman； and I loved
her once。 But I don't know： since I have been in a great measure
kept by her； the case is altered； what was my pleasure is become my
duty； and I have as little stomach to her now as if I were her
husband。 Should she smoke my design upon Cynthia； I were in a fine
pickle。 She has a damned penetrating head； and knows how to
interpret a coldness the right way； therefore I must dissemble
ardour and ecstasy； that's resolved。 How easily and pleasantly is
that dissembled before fruition！ Pox on't that a man can't drink
without quenching his thirst。 Ha！ yonder comes Mellefont；
thoughtful。 Let me think。 Meet her at eighthumha！ By heav'n I
have it。If I can speak to my lord before。 Was it my brain or
providence？ No matter whichI will deceive 'em all； and yet secure
myself。 'Twas a lucky thought！ Well； this double…dealing is a
jewel。 Here he comes； now for me。 ＇MASKWELL； pretending not to see
him； walks by him； and speaks as it were to himself。＇
SCENE IV。
＇To him＇ MELLEFONT； musing。
MASK。 Mercy on us； what will the wickedness of this world come to？
MEL。 How now； Jack？ What； so full of contemplation that you run
over？
MASK。 I'm glad you're come； for I could not contain myself any
longer； and was just going to give vent to a secret； which nobody
but you ought to drink down。 Your aunt's just gone from hence。
MEL。 And having trusted thee with the secrets of her soul； thou art
villainously bent to discover 'em all to me； ha？
MASK。 I'm afraid my frailty leans that way。 But I don't know
whether I can in honour discover 'em all。
MEL。 All； all； man！ What； you may in honour betray her as far as
she betrays herself。 No tragical design upon my person； I hope。
MASK。 No； but it's a comical design upon mine。
MEL。 What dost thou mean？
MASK。 Listen and be dumb； we have been bargaining about the rate of
your ruin …
MEL。 Like any two guardians to an orphan heiress。 Well？
MASK。 And whereas pleasure is generally paid with mischief； what
mischief I do is to be paid with pleasure。
MEL。 So when you've swallowed the potion you sweeten your mouth
with a plum。
MASK。 You are merry； sir； but I shall probe your constitution。 In
short； the price of your banishment is to be paid with the person of
…
MEL。 Of Cynthia and her fortune。 Why； you forget you told me this
before。
MASK。 No； no。 So far you are right； and I am； as an earnest of
that bargain； to have full and free possession of the person of
your aunt。
MEL。 Ha！ Pho； you trifle。
MASK。 By this light； I'm serious； all raillery apart。 I knew
'twould stun you。 This evening at eight she will receive me in her
bedchamber。
MEL。 Hell and the devil； is she abandoned of all grace？ Why； the
woman is possessed。
MASK。 Well； will you go in my stead？
MEL。 By heav'n； into a hot furnace sooner。
MASK。 No； you would not； it would not be so convenient； as I can
order matters。
MEL。 What d'ye mean？
MASK。 Mean？ Not to disappoint the lady； I assure you。 Ha； ha； ha；
how gravely he looks。 Come； come； I won't perplex you。 'Tis the
only thing that providence could have contrived to make me capable
of serving you； either to my inclination or your own necessity。
MEL。 How； how； for heav'n's sake； dear Maskwell？
MASK。 Why； thus。 I'll go according to appointment； you shall have
notice at the critical minute to come and surprise your aunt and me
together。 Counterfeit a rage against me； and I'll make my escape
through the private passage from her chamber； which I'll take care
to leave open。 'Twill be hard if then you can't bring her to any
conditions。 For this discovery will disarm her of all defence； and
leave her entirely at your